想。

刚看过TV1 的电影， >. 十分感人，动人，发人深思。打了一通不该打的电话，给一个不该给的人，谈了一些我自己也不清楚是否真实的话题。

撇开讲，先讲讲自己。近来，黑夜白昼颠倒，生活十分混乱。总觉得。。。人人在进步，自己原地踏步。讲讲篮球，热爱它，却无法享受它。一个人的球，打不出什么精彩。为什么我的同伴都不在？他们在那里？为什么我会是只身上阵？？？一起打球的球友，哪去了？在图书馆。。。那熟悉，又陌生，让我又爱又恨的地方。。。来来往往的学者，有我认识的，也有不认识的。更有我几十年的佬友，好友，为什么我却总觉得孤单，为何我觉得孤身作战？？？朋友们一个小玩笑，在我听起来，十分刺耳。像无意间，把长剑穿心。。。流血不住。朋友的提醒，更让我觉得自己好象真的糟糕到这种地步，好象只有我，不懂考试将近。是否，我让大家觉得我，真的很爱玩，不爱读书，很堕落？？？ 妈的，是我自己敏感，还是我真的没用？或是我自己对自己真的没信心到这种严重的地步？我到底在搞什么？！！！ 总觉得，有一些人，报着“看你这此怎样死”的态度来看我。我不喜欢这种感觉。觉得被人看贬。不晓得是不是太太太太久没有尝过
赢的感觉，近来不怕输的我，渐渐变得怕输起来。

欺骗。。。有些事情，发生了，但我却傻傻的被人瞒骗过去，还有种被当是傻瓜的感觉。不谈那些，还有一个朋友，更糟，之前像极好朋友，现在讲电话却像应酬。。。我应酬她，她应酬我。 口口声声说，就算以后怎样怎样，我还是会是她的最要好的朋友。。。为何这话对我来说，如此沉重，如此奇怪，如此不堪入耳。。。？？？是否有些疑问，在我心底，我应该摊开来问，或就让时间的巨轮把它冲淡，让我忘记？今晚后，我会决定是否问个明白。我是否该相信她所说的，然后就不当一回事？或我该私底下静悄悄的察。。。察出个结果，我又能怎样？？？

感谢现代科技进步，首首音乐MP3，帮我平伏我起伏不定的心情。慢慢。。。睡意渐浓。。。头也有些重。BLURBLUR。。。

人生，匆匆，忙忙碌碌，一晃数十哉。。。做足一世金钱的奴才，读书为了要好工作，好工为了赚钱，赚钱为了买洋房养藩狗。。。江山如此多娇，引无数英雄竟折腰。无论多么强横，多么伟大，多么神通广大，到头来双脚一直，入土为安。。。金钱，生不带来，死不带去。赢得英明万世。。。但人已死，富贵名利如浮云。。。一飘而过，毫无痕迹，毫无眷恋。 那，我们在干吗？我不懂。道行不够，答不了。而今，只想做好本分，别让人瞧不起。再者，希望自己。。。更努力不懈，到了有钱有名，才去想，人生意义。最后，我还是放不下名利，俗得可以啊明伟！！！

世间有爱，人间有情，哪儿都是天堂。

一定要看> ,十分值得一看，然后慢慢想想。。。

与君喝一杯，同浇万古愁！！！

水云间

水云间

歌手：童孔
演唱：童孔

把酒黄昏后 醉卧水云间
彩云由我舞 挥洒一片天
天空几万里 云霞共翩翩

你是浮云 我是霞
缠缠绵绵到天边
缠绵到天边……
踏遍红尘路 结伴水云间
船儿载不动 情深几万年
梦随流水远 小河绕青山

你是青山 我是河
缠缠绵绵 到天边
缠绵到天边……

娶美女會短命

耶魯大學研究發現: 娶美女會短命　　
想要娶個理想的老婆的男士們可要大傷腦筋了，美國耶魯大學的心理學研究所日前發表其研究成果說，娶個其貌不揚的老婆，可以讓丈夫多活幾年。

該研究所研究人員是將已經過世的三千五百一十九位己婚男性和他們的老婆為研究對象，做法是將這些研究對象女方的照片，交給大學生打分數，設定二十分為滿分，十四分為下限，十三分以下是他們認為相貌平庸者，結果發現妻子得分越高，丈夫壽命越短，平均算來，妻子得十四分以上的丈夫壽命，比妻子得十三分以下的丈夫壽命短十二年。　　

專家們究其原因，認為娶個嬌美的老婆固然賞心悅目，但相對的要付出相當的精神負擔，為了顧好美麗的妻子，有時疑神疑鬼心緒不寧，有時要放低姿態，有時妒火中燒，長期在患得患失的情況下，身體狀況也跟著出現問題；而長相不甚出色的女子普遍以德服人，丈夫不但因而心胸坦闊，穩固的家庭基礎也讓丈夫們無後顧之憂。

呵呵..各位帥哥們，要仔細考慮想長壽還是短命啊!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

不娶美女的理由

1、個人生命安全得不到保障。現在這個社會有精神疾病的人太多了，你娶了美女難免有人嫉妒，難免他會想不開，於是跟蹤你，趁你不注意用刀子劈你，用斧子砍你，用石頭砸你，為了自己的安全考慮，我決定不娶美女。

2、隱私得不到保障。美女本身就是焦點，往往會有些變態之徒以偷窺美女為樂。你一娶美女，哈哈，說不定哪天一拉窗簾，發現屋外站滿了人，真樂呵呵的看著你和她曾經發生和即將發生的事情。

3、尊嚴得不到保障。娶個醜女回家，大可對她發號施令，娶個美女就不同了，萬一她對我莞爾一笑，說：“今天你洗碗好不好？”我估計會渾身骨頭頓時只有一兩重，不顧男子漢的尊嚴，屁股顛顛的就到廚房去洗碗了。

4、擔驚受怕。娶個美女回家，就得擔心會不會有人跟自己搶啊，老婆會不會耐不住寂寞給自己頂綠顏色的帽子帶帶。娶個醜女就不同了。哪怕吵架也可大膽的說：“算了吧！也就只有我，有一顆人道主義救死扶傷心娶你啊？”

5、英雄難過美人關。老子不是英雄，用不著過！6、省的又有人哀嘆“又一朵鮮花插在牛糞了”。自古紅顏多薄命，算命的說我會活的很長，我不想過早鰥居。7、美女的開銷太大。就算她不要我開銷，我也會為她開銷。8、美女如果老了，會和年輕時的反差很大。醜女就不同了，年輕時和年老是一樣的！

--------------------

X-Japan - TEARS

Tears
X-Japan
Dahlia


doko ni yukebaii anata to hanareteima wa sugisatta toki ni toi kakete
\nagasugita yuru ni tobi dachi wo yume mita
Ikoku no sora mitsumete kodoko wo dakishimete


* nagareru namida wo toki no kaze ni kasanete
owaranai anata no toiki wo kanjite
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

LONELINESS, YOUR SILENT WHISPER
FILLS A RIVER OF TEARS THROUGH THE NIGHT
MEMORY, YOU NEVER LET ME CRY
AND YOU, YOU NEVER SAID GOODBYE

SOMETIMES OUR TEARS BLINDED THE LOVE
WE LOST OUT DREAMS ALONG THE WAY
BUT I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D TRADE YOUR SOUL TO THE FATES
NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D LEAVE ME ALONE

TIME THROUGH THE RAIN HAS SET ME FREE
SANDS OF TIME WILL KEEP YOUR MEMORY
LOVE EVERLASTING FADES AWAY
ALIVE WITHIN YOUR BEATLESS HEART

DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

nagareru namida wo toki no kaze ni kasanete
owaranai kanashimi wo aoi-bara ni kaete
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

* repeat

DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

if you could have told me everything
you would have found what love is
if you could have told me what was on your mind
I would have shown you the way
someday I'm gonna be older than you
I've never thought beyond that timeI
've never imagined the pictures of that life
for now I will try to live for you and for me
I will try to live with love, with dreams
and forever with Tears

喜欢...爱...

原来...一个人同时可以喜欢很多很多人。尤其是。。。当你发现有一个女生十分可爱，十分好玩，十分SPORTING OUTGOING。。。那真是太好了。近来，不晓得为什么，身边总不乏条件不错的女生。认识女生，绝对不怯场。同时，不晓得怎了，可以同时喜欢上几个女生。这是搞什么？？？ 哈哈哈哈哈哈！！！ 最后，我发现，原来，当你不爱一个人，可以喜欢很多人。。。
我们有<<人之初>>的CANDICE，有身高170cm好玩SPORTING的席琳，有天天一袭白衣白裙的GUARDIAN PHARMACY SALES GAL，还有。。。MMU 里的ML 等等等。。。

但，喜欢这么多人。。。真的可以舒解心中的孤单吗？当你在做PART TIME，同时又去喜欢人，每晚回到家，累到一倒在床上就弹动不得，那么，这是足够的。因为，上班时，看见、听见，所有所有，都围绕在那些你喜欢的，你欣赏的，甚至是你想，可能有机会发展的。但，你爱的那个该如何？？？

当你爱错，然后想要放弃，需要极大的勇气。。。要忘记她。。。更需要非常强的决心。不，该说是绝情。只有绝情，心死，才能完完全全的把一个人放下。至少，我是这么想。忙忙碌碌的日子，只是让人把心低最深处，那对某人深深的思念，的爱慕硬硬压抑着。用力地埋着。。。当有一天你不再忙，偷得浮生半日闲的夜里，夜阑人静时分，听着首首以情歌为主的音乐电台，是否有所感触，心底埋藏已久的感觉，会否如澎湃汹涌的海浪，冲击着脆弱得即将决堤的堤岸。。。？？？爱她那么一个不爱自己的人，怎会如此的折磨。

撇开爱别说，喜欢很多人，也是很过瘾。为什么？哈！当你无聊，那起手机，不想发短讯给一些天天见面的酒肉朋友，大可以打开你喜欢女生的名单，想想那个比较方便说这话题，或哪个比较适合这时间出来，或哪个你比较想深入交往，就短讯她。简单容易。又可以制造机会，相当不错哦。时日久了，若觉得哪个比较适合，还可以从名单中淘汰不想要再喜欢的，多好！多潇洒！别人或许当你是好朋友。。。但切记，男女间要有纯友谊，除非你把她当是你的同类，否则，太亲密在一起肯定出事。（纯属个人醉酒的看法）就是这样啊。。。所以，你可以和人很好，笑容超灿烂的CANDICE一起玩，或身材热火的席琳一起看戏，或去认识一个你完全不认识的GUARDIAN PHARMACY SALES GIRL。单身，喜欢，就是这么简单。

爱...就像爱她一样，一举一动，一眸一笑，就连最不经意脱口而出的几句废话...都把它当成圣经宝典，永记在心。为的，只是不想错过任何爱她的机会...不想让她有一丝被伤害的机会。但，她却不懂你对她这样...甚至还会忘记她曾经在你面前哭泣，在你面前毫无原因发脾气，或有过的一些甜蜜回忆。或许对她来说，完全只是一些普通的回忆，或许，根本把你当成是好朋友而已。爱一个人，不是错，没有错，更不该是被怪错的那一方。但，爱，是否值得？爱到自己已经无法自拔，没有价值，那...还爱来干什？"别再做情人，做只猫，做只狗不做情人，做只宠物至少可爱动人，和你不楸不睬最终只会沦为敌人... - 爱与诚 - "

心情没有悲伤，没有高兴。平静吧...满累了。
CANDICE？？席琳？？ML？？还比不上一个C...
但，还要看，你到底要喜欢人...还是爱...
因为，我脑里，已经好久没有C了...是吗？？？
哈，天晓得！
晚安。

－写于Popular Book Fair 结束的当天凌晨－

This is a msg courtesy of Guy B's BLOG

quoted from guy B's blog
"Isit wat a gal said.....is always a lie? or..... do gals just like to tell lies to me? She told me that she enjoys her single life, she enjoy the freedom she had. She told me that she do not want to hav another relationship for this current moment...no, not so soon.

I really think that was just an excuse for her to refuse me. I really do think so. She state this phrase in somewhere.... wit a cartoon pic of a gal helding a guy's hand. The wordings are " hope sumday i can find sum1 dat cAn make me love him so much" . hmmm....

i went to find my fren werewolf to ask about it. he just listen. he is always a superb listener. in the mean time he gave me some good advice too... Once in a while, tat is.

Again, he said, when a gal say no to you, what she means is NO. u wanted to hav another shot and spend somemore time on the person, fine. But do not waste too much time. tats for sure."

Guy B...Gal A...

Met wit Guy B today..... he told me something real strange. b4 this....he is after gal A, and... he actually had alot of plan for gal A... he showed me his handphone calender...so many plans for gal A. Book movie ticket for gal A... go movie wit gal A... buy this n tat for gal A.... gal A's arrival at airport... go out yam cha wit gal A....

But strange, guy B told me that he nv really carried out wat he planned for gal A. "Why?" i asked wit full curiousity. "i hav no idea", he said. he told me tat...its so easy for him to plan.but when it comes to carry it out..... he just aint motivated. he hav no idea why.

"mayb is because she rejected you before? " i said.
"mayb... but i really regret not doin those things for her... at least i should hav done more for her, she might hav different feeling towards me."

"when a gal say she had no feelings towards you... 90% confidence level, you can just let go and forget about it." i said.
"just hard for me..... its not that i am not letting go..... mayb.... because i am not satisfy....i jsut wanna try another time. but.....the other time was so damn hard for me to carry out. "

anyway...now guy B had already let gal A go... at least this is wat he always tell himself and tell me.

we human, sometimes, when the thing is not meant to be ours... no matter how hard we tried, it will stil go away. Just like sometimes, when soemthing is not ours, there's no use we force ourselves....or force the others to coupe with us. It will only make everyone even harder to breathe, even harder to be friends.

Don't know... days haven been real good for guy B... and the same goes for me. well, both of us, same heart, same soul. Mayb that's why we can be so close frens together. hahaha....

tonite, we hav a nice beer section.... in the balcony of my house. the beautiful starry sky is our companion, we talk, we crap and we drink till late nite, then we sleep under the dark starry sky, wit clouds as our blanket.......

Early Morning, 4 OclocK, wat am i doing?? i am thinking.

2nd day after my 4 day 4 nite trip in Bangkok, Thailand. Now, sitting infront of my computer, i am thinking.... my memories flew through time.....

Jim told me just nw, he would leave banting sooner then he scheduled. he is leaving tml. so soon... after that, no more jim huay, no more my good old chu chu in banting. he wil b in bukit jalil. no more yam cha wit him d. no more morib wit him. no more swimming wit him. no more breakfast wit him, no more mee hun ke and yun tun mian wit him. no more fun time, no more cool time, no more sadtime to share to gether.

is this the way that our life suppose to be? frens aren't forever? we need to b seperated from each other, from our good old pal to live a new life? is tat wat we call..... Growing Up??

Bangkok trip was totally superb. but not in the mood to talk abuot it tonite. mayb some other times when i am more.... in mood.

tonite, gal A send sms to guy B. this is duno the 3rd time or 2nd time, she send sms to him for nothing. guy B was glad, even gal A n guy B cant b couple, at least once in a while, gal A remember, there is a guy B in the other part of the country. but, guy B just dont felt so happy after calling her. its like... theres stil many things, tat guy B wanted to share wit gal A, but.....always, gal A is so bz.... sometimes she is outside wit frens. sometimes she is outside wit ppl. if she were to b in the room, the line would b so unclear tat guy B can hardly listen to wat gal A said. n tat makes guy B refuse to talk longer. just now guy B called gal A, she was outside wit frens enjoying some beautiful nite view in the campus. guy B wanted to talk longer, but gal A said her phone batt was running low, and would end anytime. its like a poison knife stabbing into guy B, killing all his will to share his story wit gal A. gal A never knew, evenn guy B cant love her, she stil meant alot to guy B. at least,more then other gals to him.

gal A said she wil misscall him when she reached home, but she did not. just like usual. guy B was numb, though stil there is a little feelin. no one can b totally numb rite~~ guy B told me all about it. wat can i do? i am just a 3rd person in this. i can only b a good listener. guy B stuff...had been dragging for too long. his feeling to wards gal A is fading.... n fading... he got no more energy to love her. he is badly injured, hurt. welll, wat can i say, love sometimes just hurt ppl alot.

i am quite low tonite...at least at this moment i am. b4 this....its ok for me. but now.... really abit sad feeling, mayb bcoz of the song i am listening. mayb bcoz jim tell me he is leaving so soon. mayb, i am just too sensitive, thinking too much.

yes, i think i am....mayb thinking too much. hmmm......
its been long since the last time i wrote something in this blog. many things........sometimes i prefer to stick n keep to myself. but...even i wrote something here.... who wil b so kind to read all of it? haha....ppl wil just drop by, look at the title, then off they go.
just like me in ur life, u in my life, we are just a passenger in each other's life. it's just tat moment tat brought us together. the timing. after the timing is over, we will b heading for our own destiny seperately.
i once told eunice this. she had tears after she listen to it.

its bad, but its true. how many frenship can last forever?

think again... for example, ur grand mother, how many frens she hav now? how often u see her talking to her frens? where did all her best frens go?
its pitty, we r meant to b forgetful. we forget everything. a frenship... when left aside, after 1 year....2 years..... u stil remember. u wanted to call to recontact, but u just seem to bz....too lazy....too.... many excuses to not call. 3 years...4 years.... passed. in a coincident, u met wit him/her again, u took his/her phone number, promise to find someday out together n chit chat about the good old days.... but....another year passed. y u did not call, u urself cant tell y. then, another 5 years passed. u've been so bz, one day u remember tat fren of urs. u wanted to call. then only u realize that, the contact u hav 6 years ago...was no longer used by the fren of urs....

n eversince...u nv met wit him again. ........................

y we need to hav such regret? to make our life more meaningful? more beautiful but pittiful?
no...... its all about us. u think of a fren, if u wanna contact again, just go ahead. we don't hav too many another 2o years. we dont hav too many decades.....and we dont hav too any annual.

life is short. show the one u love....that u love them. that u care for them. tell them, let them know. don't just keep to urself.
tell ur frens...how much u like them, how much they meant to you. if u cant tell, write, just like me. write out. let everyone know. who knws, after a seperation, we might not see him/her again?

its so lucky....so coincident tat we can met wit the frens around us now. appreciate ... really. life is too short....too many things to complete in so limited time.

hmmm...i've been crapping too much tonite.
its so empty in me now. i felt so much like loving some1, but theres no one in my mind. i felt so much like missing some 1, but there isn't anyone there for me to miss. i wanted to share my adventure, my ups and downs wit some one that i can click wit, but there isnt anyone so suitable in my mind. i wanted to love some 1, but who?

my fren guy B used to hav a femal fren that can share all these things wit him. tat gal.... gal A. but after he started to express his feelin to gal A, somehow their relationship changed, and he can no longer tell her everything and b frank wit her d. y?? i hav no idea. while the gal felt their relationship is just normal n as they used to b, but guy B is feeling changes, mayb is bcoz he is too sensitive, mayb bcoz he is thinking too much. i cant tell, coz i am not experienced enough. but i sure can tell, guy B is a nice and good guy. at least i think he is. just tat....his timing is super bad. and tat makes all the different.

sleepy d... guess i should sleep...wit all these nice songs accompanying me.
nite, guy B, nite, gal A. nitez.. all my frens...my family....and some1 that i love.
u all meant so much to me, and u all help build up the me i am today. thank you~ love u all.

-_- ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.........

It's all about Dreams, Thoughts, and the Determination In Chasing Dreams...~~~!!!

tonite, i had a great time together wit my frenz. Zhan wei, Jye Shyang, Kwong Choon and me, Banting's 4 most handsome guy, gathered together at Taxi Stand's 69 Cafe.... chatting about each other, about things, anything, almost everything.

and i can c, now... that all of us had grown, elder, more mature. macho guys~~ and all single, all handsome bachelors...hahaha~~~

well, its really a nice chat. zhan wei, talking about his experience of learning japanese, n his new university in tokyo, one of the super metropolice in the world. he is leaving... so soon. seems like yesterday, that he told me he is leaving for japan, and now, he is leaving in 18 days. gosh, time really flies.....

Jye Shyang, MMU FCM gamma year student, love the work he is doin alot. graduating in 1 and half year's time. nice guy, haha~~~

Kwong Choon...MMU FOE gamma year student, my housemate.

well basically we talk about alot of stuff. From gals, till a life of a bachelor, some memories of the past (which we always talk abbout during our yam cha session, which is about primary n secondary time),then we talk about olympics which just pass a few weeks, and talk about future stuff.

well, it seems that , each and everyone of us hav our own dreams and plans...
and its all about Dreams, our thoughts, and our determination in persueing our dreams.
we should hav dream. it seems like, our dream is so near, yet so far. and we r like, stil a distance apart with what we hope to achieve. well, that really is something that i should think it through. i wish, how i wish, that, each and all of my frens, could achieve what they wanted, and b successful. then, after 5 years, we had a gathering, and when we know each and everyone of us are stil good... how wonderful it is~~~

yeah...baby!!! Lets cheers,for our future, for our DREAM!!! Master the DREAM, Achieve IT!!!

boh-san....so i do stupid things!!! answer stupid qs~~

Message: 1. what will u do if the person u like likes another girl/boy?kick her ass. burn house. kill the guy tat she likes. no. just joking. lame joke. i know.

2. Did u talk to the person u like before?no. the person i like is a wall. a car. no. a movie star. out of reach. tats y nv talk b4. no. just jk. lame joke. i know.

3. Would u wait for a girl/guy for 5 years that u once really like?my girl is now 13, stil 5 years to b officially aged for legal sex. siao. no. she now coma. doctor say 5 years only wake up. siao. she is sleeping beauty. wait 5 years for me to get the medicine to save her. crap. no. jz jk. no idea.might, mignt not.

4. would u fall in luv easily?i fall in love easy... i am play boy ma. i am rich ma, so can simply fall in love. i am handsome ma, so simply fall in love also ppl will love me.i am rich ma.i fall in love liao, i can buy wit money. siao. no.jz jk. i don't. i need to know in order the person to fall in love.

5. do u believe in love?no.i am devil.no love.i am crazy.don't know wat is love.i nv felt love.so i dont believe.i hate love, coz love don't love me.No.jz jk.i believe in love,faith,n myself.

6. what could u do if the guy/girl really don't like u..and u like him/her a lot ? kill and eat her.she forever b urs.kidnap her parents, force her to love u.threaten her.force her to marry you.even cannot get her heart, must get her body.no.jz joking.wat can i possibly do?b a stupid idiot n wish for her happiness.

7. what do u think is love?Love is so beautiful that words can't describe and it begins the moment two people infatuated humans come together in working out a relationship. It's a give n take situation.conclusion : love = a lil infatuation + a lot of like and acceptance + a load full of hardwork in making the relationship work. (don't know.so i just kept alicia's defination here.)

8. do u have any confidence in luv?nv love.how to know.duno.

9. are u scared of being rejected? nonono. coz my face is 10km thick.nonono coz i dun hav a face.nonono coz i hav no fear. no.jz jk.wat do u think?idiot!!!no one likes to be rejected.i scared.very scared.

10. do u think relationships can last long?no.coz we r house fly.hav 7 day life only. no.coz the world is gonna explode in 2 days. no. coz a nuke war is gonna start n all human beaing is gonna die within the next 24 hours. no.coz big UFO from Terrorist is gonna bang the earth n eliminate all living species. no. jz jk. if can, would love to last forever.

She's got someone on her TaiL!!!

c...
i knew it. its almost a sure that some one so gorgeous beautiful like gal A would hav some one on her "tail" so fast. i just knew it. an angel like her, if there isn't any one on her Tail, this is not a proper world dude. Look, for eg, MMu gals...many of them... normal look, normal gal's attitude... as normal as they are, they could get someone behind their tail, or even together wit them within 2 ,3 weeks...so fast...so instance.

as for gal A... so nice, so great personality, gorgeous charming and beautiful, and sporting, if there ain't anyone on her tail, tat would b the biggest himiliation.

and so, no surprise at all, gal A's fren confirm wit guy B, and he told me that there was indeed, someone on her Tail,bz courting her, trying to get her. As for a guy B who used to take her as the precious in hand, no more. no more of romance fantasy, no dissapointment either. Numb is the word to describe guy B... too much hope and dissapointment, he'd already learnt to kill the feelins. Good for gal A to get some 1...easier for guy B to felt relief and.. let the numb b forever.

well, at least now guy B knew, and i am glad that guy B is more numb then ever. yes, he felt not so happy...... for the result but he is ok wit it. i think guy B is more mature now to think of a better way to treat himself. and as for gal A...guy B givs his blessing and wishes to her.

and after that, guy B live a better life of his own, a bachelor's life, free, free and stil free.

so, finally.... guy B knew... gal A knew, and i know, that some1 is on gal A's tail, chasing her, courting her, tryin to make her his GF.... guy B, NUMB; me, just smile abit.

She's got someone on her TaiL~!!!

Bye Bye Old Feel...Aloha to NeW!!!

Bye bye the old feel... aloha to the new one. 16/8, a sunny day. in campus, b4 i ate the delicious nasi goreng kebab wit mango ice blended juice, i settle something tat i should hav settled a long time ago. and thought i knew the answer would b negetive... but i am stil willing to hurt myself for the very last time.

And yeah i did. and the answer was negetive. and so, i headed back for my delicious nasi goreng kebab, n stated to eat like a hungry wolf. eversince, i did not do anything that makes me thhink of it anmore.

Its been almost 2 weeks. seems along time. nv think, nv contact, nothing done. and i felt, can say great too. nothing much, except i do more stuff for myself. and i occupied more time moving around, exercising around. basketball bcome my 1 and only lover...wah...shiok man!!! wit my new addidas...i fly on the court. only, i am lack of energy and stamina d. cham....tooo fat and old d.

and so, i am bachelor... likes basketball, starting to love exam, and hate the days after exam. i like the pressure d. starting to kill time by writting stupid blogs...hahaha.
yeah...

now...me is stil me.... blii blii blaa blaa crap crap crap.
we wang wang wang wang weee weee wang wang wang.....
muahahahahhaaha~~~~~new feel
my own feel~~~

Olympics...The Spirit Of Mankind For Peace, Friendship, and Sportsmanship. LoVe It!!!

When it all started, I was in the middle of a preparation of a war. The war of fire for me…flamed so fiercely, just like the fire ob of the Olympics. That night, 1 something in the morning, I was watching the opening of Olympics, through the small tv in condo. Neighbors came over to join the celebration. That was a night I slept around 3 something. While the opening of Olympics still carrying out in Athens, Greece 2004. And so, it all started…started…and the war for me to my Olympic game – the MMU Finals.

And now, I was at home. The fight for MMU Finals, had already gone for 3 days. In front of me, TV showing live broadcast of the closing of Athens 2004. Every time I watch at the opening, the games, and the closing of Olympics, I felt totally great. Totally proud, totally touch. The crowd… the cheers… the sad, the happiness, the fall, the raise, the glory, the success…. And so on…and so on…..

Every time, I wanted to feel…how the athletes felt, when they are on the prize stage, and 72k of ppl in the stadium, cheering, applause for them. When you are at this kind of places, it doesn’t really matter if u loose or wins. What matters the most, is the honor… of being cheered by 72k people. Win or loose shows no big matters no more. For the spirits, the proud of representing the country, standing in the eyes of the world. I would hav cried if I am in such situation. Tears would hav drop without me knowing. Wat an honor, wat a great memory, a highest honor. And the spirit of the games… the Olympic games… For our earth’s peace, friendship, sportsmanship, and GloRy!!! MoMents of Glory!!! Oh gosh!!! Can you felt that…??? Can you imagine!!! I am imagining. How beautiful…how wonderful…!!! And the Fire of Olympic…Shows the spirit of the Olympics will never die.

3.44am Malaysia time, the flame in Athens 2004 is about to be put off…but the spirit will not end here. 4 years later, in Beijing, the proud of Chinese, the proud of all Chinese, and China. We know….the great eastern dragon had awaken… Athens 2004, china won 32 gold medals, a few medals behind USA. Russia no. 3. China, stepping towards its success~~~ internationally….globally!!!

Look at that amazing structure of the stadium, the crowd of it…. All the flashes due to the cameras’ flashes…Oh…the flame was “blown” off by a little Greece girl. Next time we c it, it will b in Beijing’s Olympic Stadium. Yeah!!! Oh gosh…the fireworks…. Wonderful!!! Awesome!!! Beautiful!!! Wit beautiful musics sung by beautiful singers. Gosh….totally awesome!!! Dance….Dance….and never let it stop!!! Fireworks…boom….boom…and nv stop!!! Let this memorable, beautiful, glamour moment stop and et history not to be forgotten!!! It’s a super big party happening!!! Muahahaha!!!! Muahahaha!!!!

4.45am Malaysian time…Olympics ended for 2004 Athens…finally it comes to an end. But, we look forward for 2008 in Beijing China, where the spirit, the glory and the pride of human once shine again in grace. 2008 Beijing, we look forward to u!!! YeaH!!!

Once more addition b4 I stop this blog of mine… One of my dream for my near future was to go for the Olympics for Beijing 2008 and witness the history of mankind for the very 1st time of my life. Hopefully It could b carried out~~~ any one interested to join me?? Let’s go together…~~ hahaha..!!!

Bad Tempered...

Today...back from cyberjaya MMU, reach home around 9.15pm after havin dinner wit jim n miao.
hmm...i hav no idea y i am so bad tempered. Mayb pressure...mayb, i cant get wat i wanted. i hav no idea.
i just felt totally v.v.v. bad, v.v. angry, v.v. frustrated. its like...everything is not under my control anymore. its like, i am capable of doin nothing good no more. i suck like shit. tats wat i felt.
Confidence in me just com

e and go. and i hav no idea why is that happening. wat hav i done wrong? that make me...such a loser recently? i dont understand wat the lecturer is lecturing during lecture classes, and i hav no idea wat will i get for the coming final. v.v. scared of it. if i ever to fail again, gosh, i dare not think wat will happen to me.
 
Lost of motivation and Target.... AGAIN!!! hav no idea wat am i doin, its like...i am letting myself go again... i am letting myself stepping deeper and deeper into a quicksand... nv gonna c the sunlight again...no more. bye bye.
 
How come this is happening? it really scares me... but, there wasn't any determination or dignity to change. wat happen to me? wat happen? i always look forward to ppl who live a real good life, rich spiritually, mentally. i look forward to ppl who went overseas...study, experience a total different culture, total different life. and come back to tell the tale. 
 
There are sometimes, somethings tat i wanted to do, that i cant' do. No example given, i kept it to myself. just that, there r something, that i wanted so hardly, n GOD DAMNIT i just cant get it. and there r ppl who, wanted something, and they get it. Just as simple as easy as that. Some that money can buy...which i DAMNIT dun hav. some...money cant buy... which i am ok coz its...faith. Hell!!! since when i believe in such stupid thing!! faith....arrr!!!
 
Y... y i am held back to do something by so many factors?? y can t i...just dun giv a damn on those stupid stuff and just do the things i wanted to do sometimes??
what hav i done wrong?? i did not kill anyone. i did not robbed anyone. i am a good guy.....er...lets let other to judge it.
 
but, i really hope, someday, i can do somethign like my heart tells...freely, and can success in something that i do. its been....... so so so long time, since the time i taste the sweetness of....SUCCESS....real long time.  i miss that feelin so so much. ARR DAMNIT!!!
when will that sweetness b tasted again...??
when??
tell me...tell me.....
 
P/S: special apology to my parents and my younger brother, for, my bad tempered, and rude attitude just now. Was too underpressure.

 

Morning Worst... Noon Ok... Evening Just Smillin Away.

Today...this day....this morning!!! Arrrrhhh!!! i woke up late, 20 minutes late for CK2 lab. oh gosh!!! then, rush to campus...its already 9.35am. late!!! the dear Dr. Tan Ai Hui dun allow me to do the lab though i try to persue her for a chance. she ask me to replace on 3/8/2004.no choice, i can only agree. back at my condo, felt totally bad... face black black. 11.15am, laying on my bed, half sleep half awake until 12 something, then woke up n went for 1 oclock class.
stil felt not good. moody...
sit in the class...listen to the lecturer talking... copying solutions for examples... then, ended up in library copying assignment. GUILTY!!! then went for lunch wit darren, NASI GORENG KEBAB. quite nice.yeah! later,  went library, sit there n read news papers. talk alot of crap wit darren. 
 
Finally, went for tutorial class. Its Dr. Praba's Electromagnetic Theory class. He announced before the class that this is his last class, for he will be leaving MMU after this week. I was sad to hear that. he was such a good lecturer, and a good guy. i will sure miss him.though he like to skip class, but, he can conduct a class much much better then some malay or chinese lecturers that claim they r good themselves...ohhhman!! wat ever!! 
 
anyway, wanna take this opportunity here to say, Thank you Dr. Praba, for everything! Best Wishes!!! Its really MMU's waste to let a good lecturer go. SoLuTe To Dr. Praba!!! thank you for ur contribution!
 
then when i am after the class...i felt total relief.... thats y i am so happy after tat. so my mood turns good, n i am smillin away. hopefully tml i can get myself to er.... street mall tml to post wat i promise to post. the mail i mean.
 
well, tats all la. ....... lazy to write d =P

King Arthur...

today, was a saturday. went pyramid wit 5 frens of mine from my hometown.
1, qian jun, my so good old fren...old until i can help her clean her teeth using tooth pic
2, re chuan, studyin in aus, back for holiday, superb happy gal wit totally nice personality, outgoing n strong!!
3, zhan wei, my good old pal leaving for japan for architecture on october. asian scholarship. v. brilliant guy!!
4, yee xuan, small size gal, nice, daughter of 2 teachers, nice, leaving for NUS on august...s'pore
5,kwong choon, my roommate in cyberjaya.
 
3 of them watch spiderman 2, 3 of us.. (me, kwong choon, qian jun) watch King Arthur.
1 word to describe it. SUPERB!!! really a nice movie. i giv it a high high rank.
 
the 1st scene i watch, i knew...its worth my ticket price. the background music is just awesome!!! the usage of mass Brass instrument, really brought out the feel of the whole movie. even v. simple shot, together wit the sound effect and the music, brought out a v stunning effect. plus, the story line is good, actor's characteristic is clear... Keira Knightley was a total beauty!!!
Fighting scene... was good. Touching movie, of companionship, loyalty, believe, trust among each others, and FREEDOM...
 
it took me 10 minutes after the movie... for myself to... talk normally.haha
nice movies!! really should go c!!!
 
tats all
tell u more next time...muahaha!!!

 
 

In d Lab.... In d Lab....

n here i am..in the lab, wit nothing to do. its raining outside, and, my day is ruin by the late wakeup of myself. ahr man!!! Miss out one tutorial class. Thanks to the late sleep last nite. Regrets la...shouldn't hav done this. Its totally not rite...

Recently i hav a dream.......... i dream of... havin...3 million to spend.
but,today i woke myself up n tell my self tat i dont hav that amount of money!! so, i started to do something else. i started to...be nice n smile.
ok, i am crapping, but until now, the 2 gals tat i come across...i've already praise them for their charming n beautiness.


arrr...wat the hack am i typing. ya know, sometimes, i felt tat, as we grow elder...we somehow tend to, b more protective of ourselves. yeah...protective. nv really tot of htis question, but tat day when i went out wit my cool fren, she told me this.
n this stuff...relates to another matter...which is no other then the LOVE!!!
tats wat she say - "i've seen so many couples...get together..but the guy,was too playboy,n they tend to go for other gals eventhough they had one by their side d. i c them gettin 2gether,breaking up. how could i really trust a guy? n i wont go for any guys jsut bcoz i am single, lonely or desperate,n others arent like me.it makes me felt...cheap. who knows...mayb seein to much of this kinda example, i tend to b more protective bout myself." i noded as she said so.

it true ya know, as we go on, we notice...so many bad things happen in this world. when we r small, young n wild, we r happy. We nv realize how bad this world is turninng into, how wicket man's heart can be. and now, tat we r mature n grown up, we know... wat we this world is. we bcome more protective, we bcome more careful. we bcome less happy, n less happy...

Much depends on how we actually look at this world. but the news through the papers...really scared alot of people. n kids cant hav their happy childhood. n ladies walk alone will felt total horror... and man walk alone, will felt uncomfortable. who knows...where n when, we will b rob? killed? knocked down by a crazy driver? rape by a insane psycho,kidnapped by kidnappers...or head got cut off by terrorist. we nv know... sadly...we nv know. Big cities in malaysia...often seen through news papers..not coz of their glorious, modern lifestyle n society, but for their accidents, criminal cases...and that really scared the freak out of a certain people. certain people like me.

tats y, like always, i prefer goin to more pure n unpolluted places for a trip or holiday.KL?? no thanks. dislike the culture there. gives ppl the feelin of...MONEY ORIENTED.... totally personal point of view... no offence k~ yet this is the fact
this is the capital of malaysia. there r times when we r forced to go to these places for certain reason. n we live wit it. =)

hmmm....stil in lab...playin pool wit ewe...sien oo~!!!

Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday...

Saturday, 10/7/2004
well, today quite special. i attended a fren's sister's wedding. tat was morning. afternoon, call some1. v. nice..hehe...spend the noon wit family also. happy~~ then nite, went out wit a v. cool fren of mine. we talk alot... for 1 hour n 15 minutes.just the 2 of us... chattin things tat r from our heart. v. nice to hear from her again. n so, 2 aquarius talk alot abuot everything.
yeah~~

sunday, 11/7/2004
today, woke up, went morning market wit mum n dad...n brother n sister... wah! whole family went pasar together. hoho... =P boring ma. v. happy also. noon went back to cyberjaya..n started my study again for tuesday's exam

Monday, 12/7/2004
Just another manic monday. always makes ppl... feels bad. y sunday hav to go? y monday hav to come?
tats y....... i love saturday the most~~~ yeah baby!! at nite, totally got no mood to study. so me n housemates...were crapping n playin cards. wow~~~ crazy ei!!!

Tuesday 13/7/2004
Today, woke up, skip all classes.
Nite, exam, sucks like hell~!!! then Gunbound for a few hours... then.....duno wat the hack i do. n the time is now 5.10am.imagine!! gosh

wednesday.... 14/7/2004
its 5.10 now......... wat else i need to do? oh ya.....sleep
tml stil hav class for me
good luck for u n me n he n she!~!!!!!

And so.... there is no title for this blog.

well, like always... this is the time for me to write a blog of my own. Like always, its again, late at nite...i am all alone, its so quiet, n lonely. It seems like the world had turn its back on me.

4/7/2004, 1.46am. It has been 23 days n 9 hours n 8 minutes since the person who meant alot to me, had left to persue her dreams. as for me, i had set a dream for myself... and i hope i can grab it. Love is such a strange n funny thing. hmmm...

can anyone tell me, isit really so bad if i go after a gal who already had a bf or some1 is already after her??

Life recently is...such bz, n bz. each day passes, faster then i can ever imagine.
Everyday, went campus in d morning, then spend time in library duno do wat... until evening only i am back to my condo.Experiencing the life of a nerd, i felt that they will not hav time for the stuffs below.

1. To Love
2. To Chat
3. To Write Blog
4. To Enjoy the life of Campus
5. They usually move alone.
6. They just seem v. boring.
7. Play Games.

arrr...who cares how they live. what i care is how i live. and my life, is bz. n pressure. n there's only 1 thing tat leads me to this. My target, my dream. I dun wanna be a failure anymore. Wat i want, is to smile confidently every day n nite again.

went swimming just now. found out that... i can stil swim...wah...happy~~ luckily i can stil swim though i am putting up weight again. but, there are some movements tat i cant do anymore. like leg streching, n continous running around the park at my home town for more then 3 round.

Money management comes in handy recently. Tryin to save as much money as possible. n it seems to b working abit. Lately been always desiring to go out for tea at MAMAK wit frens, or go hav a drink at somewhere n just sit there for a afternoon or nite, n think of wat ever i will think. It would be nice. But some how i stil cant do tat yet. duno y.

Tot this weekend i would hav a really damn nice trip in Port Dickson, who knows, last minute cancelled. dissapointing. I even brought a hawaii feel shirt, preparing to wear during the PD trip. anyway, wat ever.

Just now i was singing on my fren's bed. i sang so happily i even forget my fren were in the room. he took the digicam n took my funny looking singing look. Yet, i dun care. i just keep on singing. after tat i felt totally happy. But the happiness didn't last for long. Now, the thing that went through me...is just pressure....stress...n pressure...n stress...n pressure...n stress...

To tell the truth, i love exams...but i hate the exam outcome, which is the stupid RESULT!!!

Anyway, i felt that i am running myself out of anything tat is related to love, wat i mean is, Love, the love, tat includes admire, attracted, wat ever... its the love among couples. I somehow kick it to somewhere...n i cant find it now. hmm.

I miss some1 ... but often i myself don't know who i should b missing.

My fren Jimmy said tat next time when he hav band training wit his gang, he wan me 2 b in to play some keyboard. I nv play wit a band, and i nv dare to think wat will b the outcome. Stil wondering whether i should bring my keyboard here so tat i can play everyday. hmm.

Someone recently intro me to invest an amount of RM 2500 in a bizness... something like Pyramid Scheme. i just refused it. How on earth do i find the rm 2.5 k out for it? no idea.

Alone, oh ya. now aways, almost each and everyday, i went to campus on my own. i loiter around the campus on my own. N i went to library n sit alone to study alone, and sometimes i went to the Cafe to sit down and hav a drink, n look at those NERDS walking here n there alone. Since it is so alone... i might as well just alone n alone n alone n alone *gone insane alone*......

Come wat may... too many things are out of my reach, out of my control. I dream day and nite of having 3 things. 1 = good reputation n result. 2 = some1 3 = BMW M3.
But, good repu n result...always din get to reach me. for i always trip and fall b4 my hand can ever reached it.That particular someone, which here refering to more then 1 person, those tat fly flew away. those tat hav a home sticked to tat home n forever hope to b happy. those tat is chased by prince charming, so inbriated in the process of chasing n hiding. BMW M3...hahaha. even v. rich man will not simply buy a car tat worth half a million or more n make the money walk all around the free way rite~~~!!!! so, jsut a dream.

always wanted to...love some1. but, don't know y now all tat is in my mind, is just...to not love anyone, and to focus on something tat can raise my reputation n results. y... pitty life, ei~?

sometimes i miss piano much. Like now, i really miss the piano at home, it had accompany me to go through alot of highs and lows... when i am happy, my finger do dancing on it. when i am sad, my fingers play the sound of sorrow in me. when i am mad, a war drum begun to sound. Ahh..my piano~~ how i miss it. but, sometimes when i am sitting infront of it, and i wanted to play it, wat is in my mind just cant b played and expressed like i think it could. is my feelin gettin complicated? or is my skills of playin decreasing......? God knows...huh!

Deep inside my heart, theres 1 person there.That person, if u r the one, u wil know tat i am talking bout u. Take good care of urself. Had a great time n b happy always. My best wishes are always reserved for you. U know how much u meant to me, how much i care for u. =) oh...wat ever!!!

Deep inside my mind, there r 1 angel n 1 darevel. this 2 "thing" played an important role for my decision making, personality establishment, and many many more. But always, i was hold back coz of the fight btw this 2 thing tat had no winners. If only i can b more determine, more firm in wat i decide, in wat i plan, n then carry out bravely, confidently. Then, there should b not so many regrets in my life... at least recently... really got a few regrets tat nearly make me gone INSANE.

Boa - Everyheart is playin on my Winamp now. Felt totally tired. Eyes r almost closing. but heart stil dun felt like sleepin. Everynite i am like...waiting for some1. who? i hav no idea...hmm...
mayb i am jsut used to ...not sleeping.

ok...then tats it for this crappy blog. hav no idea wat i wrote!!! gosh...wat a mess!!!

Best wishes to myself on Wednesday's Exam. Best wishes to me on next tuesday's Exam. Peace 2 the world!!!

Songs Tat Make U Happy

Well, basically, sometimes i might get real happy and excited due to a simple song, or tune, or music. as long as it makes me felt like jumping, or shakin, or singing ...then it makes me happy.
FOr example, Beautifool by OAG, Walk On by U2, and some other songs...
try it out!! it works.... some songs can even boost ur confidence...can motivate u, make u a more charming person~~ its true. So get urself a mobile music player or watever walkman discman MD player tat u can get... wear it, listen n start to b cool!!!