JuSt Me...anD No One ElSe BuT Me!!!

Sunday, December 5, 2004

Early Morning, 4 OclocK, wat am i doing?? i am thinking.

2nd day after my 4 day 4 nite trip in Bangkok, Thailand. Now, sitting infront of my computer, i am thinking.... my memories flew through time.....

Jim told me just nw, he would leave banting sooner then he scheduled. he is leaving tml. so soon... after that, no more jim huay, no more my good old chu chu in banting. he wil b in bukit jalil. no more yam cha wit him d. no more morib wit him. no more swimming wit him. no more breakfast wit him, no more mee hun ke and yun tun mian wit him. no more fun time, no more cool time, no more sadtime to share to gether.

is this the way that our life suppose to be? frens aren't forever? we need to b seperated from each other, from our good old pal to live a new life? is tat wat we call..... Growing Up??

Bangkok trip was totally superb. but not in the mood to talk abuot it tonite. mayb some other times when i am more.... in mood.

tonite, gal A send sms to guy B. this is duno the 3rd time or 2nd time, she send sms to him for nothing. guy B was glad, even gal A n guy B cant b couple, at least once in a while, gal A remember, there is a guy B in the other part of the country. but, guy B just dont felt so happy after calling her. its like... theres stil many things, tat guy B wanted to share wit gal A, but.....always, gal A is so bz.... sometimes she is outside wit frens. sometimes she is outside wit ppl. if she were to b in the room, the line would b so unclear tat guy B can hardly listen to wat gal A said. n tat makes guy B refuse to talk longer. just now guy B called gal A, she was outside wit frens enjoying some beautiful nite view in the campus. guy B wanted to talk longer, but gal A said her phone batt was running low, and would end anytime. its like a poison knife stabbing into guy B, killing all his will to share his story wit gal A. gal A never knew, evenn guy B cant love her, she stil meant alot to guy B. at least,more then other gals to him.

gal A said she wil misscall him when she reached home, but she did not. just like usual. guy B was numb, though stil there is a little feelin. no one can b totally numb rite~~ guy B told me all about it. wat can i do? i am just a 3rd person in this. i can only b a good listener. guy B stuff...had been dragging for too long. his feeling to wards gal A is fading.... n fading... he got no more energy to love her. he is badly injured, hurt. welll, wat can i say, love sometimes just hurt ppl alot.

i am quite low tonite...at least at this moment i am. b4 this....its ok for me. but now.... really abit sad feeling, mayb bcoz of the song i am listening. mayb bcoz jim tell me he is leaving so soon. mayb, i am just too sensitive, thinking too much.

yes, i think i am....mayb thinking too much. hmmm......
its been long since the last time i wrote something in this blog. many things........sometimes i prefer to stick n keep to myself. but...even i wrote something here.... who wil b so kind to read all of it? haha....ppl wil just drop by, look at the title, then off they go.
just like me in ur life, u in my life, we are just a passenger in each other's life. it's just tat moment tat brought us together. the timing. after the timing is over, we will b heading for our own destiny seperately.
i once told eunice this. she had tears after she listen to it.

its bad, but its true. how many frenship can last forever?

think again... for example, ur grand mother, how many frens she hav now? how often u see her talking to her frens? where did all her best frens go?
its pitty, we r meant to b forgetful. we forget everything. a frenship... when left aside, after 1 year....2 years..... u stil remember. u wanted to call to recontact, but u just seem to bz....too lazy....too.... many excuses to not call. 3 years...4 years.... passed. in a coincident, u met wit him/her again, u took his/her phone number, promise to find someday out together n chit chat about the good old days.... but....another year passed. y u did not call, u urself cant tell y. then, another 5 years passed. u've been so bz, one day u remember tat fren of urs. u wanted to call. then only u realize that, the contact u hav 6 years ago...was no longer used by the fren of urs....

n eversince...u nv met wit him again. ........................

y we need to hav such regret? to make our life more meaningful? more beautiful but pittiful?
no...... its all about us. u think of a fren, if u wanna contact again, just go ahead. we don't hav too many another 2o years. we dont hav too many decades.....and we dont hav too any annual.

life is short. show the one u love....that u love them. that u care for them. tell them, let them know. don't just keep to urself.
tell ur frens...how much u like them, how much they meant to you. if u cant tell, write, just like me. write out. let everyone know. who knws, after a seperation, we might not see him/her again?

its so lucky....so coincident tat we can met wit the frens around us now. appreciate ... really. life is too short....too many things to complete in so limited time.

hmmm...i've been crapping too much tonite.
its so empty in me now. i felt so much like loving some1, but theres no one in my mind. i felt so much like missing some 1, but there isn't anyone there for me to miss. i wanted to share my adventure, my ups and downs wit some one that i can click wit, but there isnt anyone so suitable in my mind. i wanted to love some 1, but who?

my fren guy B used to hav a femal fren that can share all these things wit him. tat gal.... gal A. but after he started to express his feelin to gal A, somehow their relationship changed, and he can no longer tell her everything and b frank wit her d. y?? i hav no idea. while the gal felt their relationship is just normal n as they used to b, but guy B is feeling changes, mayb is bcoz he is too sensitive, mayb bcoz he is thinking too much. i cant tell, coz i am not experienced enough. but i sure can tell, guy B is a nice and good guy. at least i think he is. just tat....his timing is super bad. and tat makes all the different.

sleepy d... guess i should sleep...wit all these nice songs accompanying me.
nite, guy B, nite, gal A. nitez.. all my frens...my family....and some1 that i love.
u all meant so much to me, and u all help build up the me i am today. thank you~ love u all.

-_- ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.........

1 comment:

BibiMirage said...

well.....it's true. How mny friendships do last forever? I guess...a true friendship, no matter how far you both are, as long as you keep contacts with each other, hearts are together, it's still forever friends. But it wont be the same anymore.....when one goes by...it's another new start, they have their own lives, just like you have yours. I believe Forever friendships are in the heart, you cant always hold on that friend to be by your side always....there are times you will go...
and ya know, true friends...are just so hard to find, really. A 100% true friend. Where on earth can you really find that?
Anyway, im sure you and jim wil still be able to hang out often ! Cheers~!