quoted from guy B's blog
"Isit wat a gal said.....is always a lie? or..... do gals just like to tell lies to me? She told me that she enjoys her single life, she enjoy the freedom she had. She told me that she do not want to hav another relationship for this current moment...no, not so soon.
I really think that was just an excuse for her to refuse me. I really do think so. She state this phrase in somewhere.... wit a cartoon pic of a gal helding a guy's hand. The wordings are " hope sumday i can find sum1 dat cAn make me love him so much" . hmmm....
i went to find my fren werewolf to ask about it. he just listen. he is always a superb listener. in the mean time he gave me some good advice too... Once in a while, tat is.
Again, he said, when a gal say no to you, what she means is NO. u wanted to hav another shot and spend somemore time on the person, fine. But do not waste too much time. tats for sure."
Monday, December 13, 2004
Friday, December 10, 2004
Guy B...Gal A...
Met wit Guy B today..... he told me something real strange. b4 this....he is after gal A, and... he actually had alot of plan for gal A... he showed me his handphone calender...so many plans for gal A. Book movie ticket for gal A... go movie wit gal A... buy this n tat for gal A.... gal A's arrival at airport... go out yam cha wit gal A....
But strange, guy B told me that he nv really carried out wat he planned for gal A. "Why?" i asked wit full curiousity. "i hav no idea", he said. he told me tat...its so easy for him to plan.but when it comes to carry it out..... he just aint motivated. he hav no idea why.
"mayb is because she rejected you before? " i said.
"mayb... but i really regret not doin those things for her... at least i should hav done more for her, she might hav different feeling towards me."
"when a gal say she had no feelings towards you... 90% confidence level, you can just let go and forget about it." i said.
"just hard for me..... its not that i am not letting go..... mayb.... because i am not satisfy....i jsut wanna try another time. but.....the other time was so damn hard for me to carry out. "
anyway...now guy B had already let gal A go... at least this is wat he always tell himself and tell me.
we human, sometimes, when the thing is not meant to be ours... no matter how hard we tried, it will stil go away. Just like sometimes, when soemthing is not ours, there's no use we force ourselves....or force the others to coupe with us. It will only make everyone even harder to breathe, even harder to be friends.
Don't know... days haven been real good for guy B... and the same goes for me. well, both of us, same heart, same soul. Mayb that's why we can be so close frens together. hahaha....
tonite, we hav a nice beer section.... in the balcony of my house. the beautiful starry sky is our companion, we talk, we crap and we drink till late nite, then we sleep under the dark starry sky, wit clouds as our blanket.......
But strange, guy B told me that he nv really carried out wat he planned for gal A. "Why?" i asked wit full curiousity. "i hav no idea", he said. he told me tat...its so easy for him to plan.but when it comes to carry it out..... he just aint motivated. he hav no idea why.
"mayb is because she rejected you before? " i said.
"mayb... but i really regret not doin those things for her... at least i should hav done more for her, she might hav different feeling towards me."
"when a gal say she had no feelings towards you... 90% confidence level, you can just let go and forget about it." i said.
"just hard for me..... its not that i am not letting go..... mayb.... because i am not satisfy....i jsut wanna try another time. but.....the other time was so damn hard for me to carry out. "
anyway...now guy B had already let gal A go... at least this is wat he always tell himself and tell me.
we human, sometimes, when the thing is not meant to be ours... no matter how hard we tried, it will stil go away. Just like sometimes, when soemthing is not ours, there's no use we force ourselves....or force the others to coupe with us. It will only make everyone even harder to breathe, even harder to be friends.
Don't know... days haven been real good for guy B... and the same goes for me. well, both of us, same heart, same soul. Mayb that's why we can be so close frens together. hahaha....
tonite, we hav a nice beer section.... in the balcony of my house. the beautiful starry sky is our companion, we talk, we crap and we drink till late nite, then we sleep under the dark starry sky, wit clouds as our blanket.......
Sunday, December 5, 2004
Early Morning, 4 OclocK, wat am i doing?? i am thinking.
2nd day after my 4 day 4 nite trip in Bangkok, Thailand. Now, sitting infront of my computer, i am thinking.... my memories flew through time.....
Jim told me just nw, he would leave banting sooner then he scheduled. he is leaving tml. so soon... after that, no more jim huay, no more my good old chu chu in banting. he wil b in bukit jalil. no more yam cha wit him d. no more morib wit him. no more swimming wit him. no more breakfast wit him, no more mee hun ke and yun tun mian wit him. no more fun time, no more cool time, no more sadtime to share to gether.
is this the way that our life suppose to be? frens aren't forever? we need to b seperated from each other, from our good old pal to live a new life? is tat wat we call..... Growing Up??
Bangkok trip was totally superb. but not in the mood to talk abuot it tonite. mayb some other times when i am more.... in mood.
tonite, gal A send sms to guy B. this is duno the 3rd time or 2nd time, she send sms to him for nothing. guy B was glad, even gal A n guy B cant b couple, at least once in a while, gal A remember, there is a guy B in the other part of the country. but, guy B just dont felt so happy after calling her. its like... theres stil many things, tat guy B wanted to share wit gal A, but.....always, gal A is so bz.... sometimes she is outside wit frens. sometimes she is outside wit ppl. if she were to b in the room, the line would b so unclear tat guy B can hardly listen to wat gal A said. n tat makes guy B refuse to talk longer. just now guy B called gal A, she was outside wit frens enjoying some beautiful nite view in the campus. guy B wanted to talk longer, but gal A said her phone batt was running low, and would end anytime. its like a poison knife stabbing into guy B, killing all his will to share his story wit gal A. gal A never knew, evenn guy B cant love her, she stil meant alot to guy B. at least,more then other gals to him.
gal A said she wil misscall him when she reached home, but she did not. just like usual. guy B was numb, though stil there is a little feelin. no one can b totally numb rite~~ guy B told me all about it. wat can i do? i am just a 3rd person in this. i can only b a good listener. guy B stuff...had been dragging for too long. his feeling to wards gal A is fading.... n fading... he got no more energy to love her. he is badly injured, hurt. welll, wat can i say, love sometimes just hurt ppl alot.
i am quite low tonite...at least at this moment i am. b4 this....its ok for me. but now.... really abit sad feeling, mayb bcoz of the song i am listening. mayb bcoz jim tell me he is leaving so soon. mayb, i am just too sensitive, thinking too much.
yes, i think i am....mayb thinking too much. hmmm......
its been long since the last time i wrote something in this blog. many things........sometimes i prefer to stick n keep to myself. but...even i wrote something here.... who wil b so kind to read all of it? haha....ppl wil just drop by, look at the title, then off they go.
just like me in ur life, u in my life, we are just a passenger in each other's life. it's just tat moment tat brought us together. the timing. after the timing is over, we will b heading for our own destiny seperately.
i once told eunice this. she had tears after she listen to it.
its bad, but its true. how many frenship can last forever?
think again... for example, ur grand mother, how many frens she hav now? how often u see her talking to her frens? where did all her best frens go?
its pitty, we r meant to b forgetful. we forget everything. a frenship... when left aside, after 1 year....2 years..... u stil remember. u wanted to call to recontact, but u just seem to bz....too lazy....too.... many excuses to not call. 3 years...4 years.... passed. in a coincident, u met wit him/her again, u took his/her phone number, promise to find someday out together n chit chat about the good old days.... but....another year passed. y u did not call, u urself cant tell y. then, another 5 years passed. u've been so bz, one day u remember tat fren of urs. u wanted to call. then only u realize that, the contact u hav 6 years ago...was no longer used by the fren of urs....
n eversince...u nv met wit him again. ........................
y we need to hav such regret? to make our life more meaningful? more beautiful but pittiful?
no...... its all about us. u think of a fren, if u wanna contact again, just go ahead. we don't hav too many another 2o years. we dont hav too many decades.....and we dont hav too any annual.
life is short. show the one u love....that u love them. that u care for them. tell them, let them know. don't just keep to urself.
tell ur frens...how much u like them, how much they meant to you. if u cant tell, write, just like me. write out. let everyone know. who knws, after a seperation, we might not see him/her again?
its so lucky....so coincident tat we can met wit the frens around us now. appreciate ... really. life is too short....too many things to complete in so limited time.
hmmm...i've been crapping too much tonite.
its so empty in me now. i felt so much like loving some1, but theres no one in my mind. i felt so much like missing some 1, but there isn't anyone there for me to miss. i wanted to share my adventure, my ups and downs wit some one that i can click wit, but there isnt anyone so suitable in my mind. i wanted to love some 1, but who?
my fren guy B used to hav a femal fren that can share all these things wit him. tat gal.... gal A. but after he started to express his feelin to gal A, somehow their relationship changed, and he can no longer tell her everything and b frank wit her d. y?? i hav no idea. while the gal felt their relationship is just normal n as they used to b, but guy B is feeling changes, mayb is bcoz he is too sensitive, mayb bcoz he is thinking too much. i cant tell, coz i am not experienced enough. but i sure can tell, guy B is a nice and good guy. at least i think he is. just tat....his timing is super bad. and tat makes all the different.
sleepy d... guess i should sleep...wit all these nice songs accompanying me.
nite, guy B, nite, gal A. nitez.. all my frens...my family....and some1 that i love.
u all meant so much to me, and u all help build up the me i am today. thank you~ love u all.
-_- ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.........
Jim told me just nw, he would leave banting sooner then he scheduled. he is leaving tml. so soon... after that, no more jim huay, no more my good old chu chu in banting. he wil b in bukit jalil. no more yam cha wit him d. no more morib wit him. no more swimming wit him. no more breakfast wit him, no more mee hun ke and yun tun mian wit him. no more fun time, no more cool time, no more sadtime to share to gether.
is this the way that our life suppose to be? frens aren't forever? we need to b seperated from each other, from our good old pal to live a new life? is tat wat we call..... Growing Up??
Bangkok trip was totally superb. but not in the mood to talk abuot it tonite. mayb some other times when i am more.... in mood.
tonite, gal A send sms to guy B. this is duno the 3rd time or 2nd time, she send sms to him for nothing. guy B was glad, even gal A n guy B cant b couple, at least once in a while, gal A remember, there is a guy B in the other part of the country. but, guy B just dont felt so happy after calling her. its like... theres stil many things, tat guy B wanted to share wit gal A, but.....always, gal A is so bz.... sometimes she is outside wit frens. sometimes she is outside wit ppl. if she were to b in the room, the line would b so unclear tat guy B can hardly listen to wat gal A said. n tat makes guy B refuse to talk longer. just now guy B called gal A, she was outside wit frens enjoying some beautiful nite view in the campus. guy B wanted to talk longer, but gal A said her phone batt was running low, and would end anytime. its like a poison knife stabbing into guy B, killing all his will to share his story wit gal A. gal A never knew, evenn guy B cant love her, she stil meant alot to guy B. at least,more then other gals to him.
gal A said she wil misscall him when she reached home, but she did not. just like usual. guy B was numb, though stil there is a little feelin. no one can b totally numb rite~~ guy B told me all about it. wat can i do? i am just a 3rd person in this. i can only b a good listener. guy B stuff...had been dragging for too long. his feeling to wards gal A is fading.... n fading... he got no more energy to love her. he is badly injured, hurt. welll, wat can i say, love sometimes just hurt ppl alot.
i am quite low tonite...at least at this moment i am. b4 this....its ok for me. but now.... really abit sad feeling, mayb bcoz of the song i am listening. mayb bcoz jim tell me he is leaving so soon. mayb, i am just too sensitive, thinking too much.
yes, i think i am....mayb thinking too much. hmmm......
its been long since the last time i wrote something in this blog. many things........sometimes i prefer to stick n keep to myself. but...even i wrote something here.... who wil b so kind to read all of it? haha....ppl wil just drop by, look at the title, then off they go.
just like me in ur life, u in my life, we are just a passenger in each other's life. it's just tat moment tat brought us together. the timing. after the timing is over, we will b heading for our own destiny seperately.
i once told eunice this. she had tears after she listen to it.
its bad, but its true. how many frenship can last forever?
think again... for example, ur grand mother, how many frens she hav now? how often u see her talking to her frens? where did all her best frens go?
its pitty, we r meant to b forgetful. we forget everything. a frenship... when left aside, after 1 year....2 years..... u stil remember. u wanted to call to recontact, but u just seem to bz....too lazy....too.... many excuses to not call. 3 years...4 years.... passed. in a coincident, u met wit him/her again, u took his/her phone number, promise to find someday out together n chit chat about the good old days.... but....another year passed. y u did not call, u urself cant tell y. then, another 5 years passed. u've been so bz, one day u remember tat fren of urs. u wanted to call. then only u realize that, the contact u hav 6 years ago...was no longer used by the fren of urs....
n eversince...u nv met wit him again. ........................
y we need to hav such regret? to make our life more meaningful? more beautiful but pittiful?
no...... its all about us. u think of a fren, if u wanna contact again, just go ahead. we don't hav too many another 2o years. we dont hav too many decades.....and we dont hav too any annual.
life is short. show the one u love....that u love them. that u care for them. tell them, let them know. don't just keep to urself.
tell ur frens...how much u like them, how much they meant to you. if u cant tell, write, just like me. write out. let everyone know. who knws, after a seperation, we might not see him/her again?
its so lucky....so coincident tat we can met wit the frens around us now. appreciate ... really. life is too short....too many things to complete in so limited time.
hmmm...i've been crapping too much tonite.
its so empty in me now. i felt so much like loving some1, but theres no one in my mind. i felt so much like missing some 1, but there isn't anyone there for me to miss. i wanted to share my adventure, my ups and downs wit some one that i can click wit, but there isnt anyone so suitable in my mind. i wanted to love some 1, but who?
my fren guy B used to hav a femal fren that can share all these things wit him. tat gal.... gal A. but after he started to express his feelin to gal A, somehow their relationship changed, and he can no longer tell her everything and b frank wit her d. y?? i hav no idea. while the gal felt their relationship is just normal n as they used to b, but guy B is feeling changes, mayb is bcoz he is too sensitive, mayb bcoz he is thinking too much. i cant tell, coz i am not experienced enough. but i sure can tell, guy B is a nice and good guy. at least i think he is. just tat....his timing is super bad. and tat makes all the different.
sleepy d... guess i should sleep...wit all these nice songs accompanying me.
nite, guy B, nite, gal A. nitez.. all my frens...my family....and some1 that i love.
u all meant so much to me, and u all help build up the me i am today. thank you~ love u all.
-_- ZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.........
Sunday, September 12, 2004
It's all about Dreams, Thoughts, and the Determination In Chasing Dreams...~~~!!!
tonite, i had a great time together wit my frenz. Zhan wei, Jye Shyang, Kwong Choon and me, Banting's 4 most handsome guy, gathered together at Taxi Stand's 69 Cafe.... chatting about each other, about things, anything, almost everything.
and i can c, now... that all of us had grown, elder, more mature. macho guys~~ and all single, all handsome bachelors...hahaha~~~
well, its really a nice chat. zhan wei, talking about his experience of learning japanese, n his new university in tokyo, one of the super metropolice in the world. he is leaving... so soon. seems like yesterday, that he told me he is leaving for japan, and now, he is leaving in 18 days. gosh, time really flies.....
Jye Shyang, MMU FCM gamma year student, love the work he is doin alot. graduating in 1 and half year's time. nice guy, haha~~~
Kwong Choon...MMU FOE gamma year student, my housemate.
well basically we talk about alot of stuff. From gals, till a life of a bachelor, some memories of the past (which we always talk abbout during our yam cha session, which is about primary n secondary time),then we talk about olympics which just pass a few weeks, and talk about future stuff.
well, it seems that , each and everyone of us hav our own dreams and plans...
and its all about Dreams, our thoughts, and our determination in persueing our dreams.
we should hav dream. it seems like, our dream is so near, yet so far. and we r like, stil a distance apart with what we hope to achieve. well, that really is something that i should think it through. i wish, how i wish, that, each and all of my frens, could achieve what they wanted, and b successful. then, after 5 years, we had a gathering, and when we know each and everyone of us are stil good... how wonderful it is~~~
yeah...baby!!! Lets cheers,for our future, for our DREAM!!! Master the DREAM, Achieve IT!!!
and i can c, now... that all of us had grown, elder, more mature. macho guys~~ and all single, all handsome bachelors...hahaha~~~
well, its really a nice chat. zhan wei, talking about his experience of learning japanese, n his new university in tokyo, one of the super metropolice in the world. he is leaving... so soon. seems like yesterday, that he told me he is leaving for japan, and now, he is leaving in 18 days. gosh, time really flies.....
Jye Shyang, MMU FCM gamma year student, love the work he is doin alot. graduating in 1 and half year's time. nice guy, haha~~~
Kwong Choon...MMU FOE gamma year student, my housemate.
well basically we talk about alot of stuff. From gals, till a life of a bachelor, some memories of the past (which we always talk abbout during our yam cha session, which is about primary n secondary time),then we talk about olympics which just pass a few weeks, and talk about future stuff.
well, it seems that , each and everyone of us hav our own dreams and plans...
and its all about Dreams, our thoughts, and our determination in persueing our dreams.
we should hav dream. it seems like, our dream is so near, yet so far. and we r like, stil a distance apart with what we hope to achieve. well, that really is something that i should think it through. i wish, how i wish, that, each and all of my frens, could achieve what they wanted, and b successful. then, after 5 years, we had a gathering, and when we know each and everyone of us are stil good... how wonderful it is~~~
yeah...baby!!! Lets cheers,for our future, for our DREAM!!! Master the DREAM, Achieve IT!!!
Tuesday, September 7, 2004
boh-san....so i do stupid things!!! answer stupid qs~~
Message: 1. what will u do if the person u like likes another girl/boy?kick her ass. burn house. kill the guy tat she likes. no. just joking. lame joke. i know.
2. Did u talk to the person u like before?no. the person i like is a wall. a car. no. a movie star. out of reach. tats y nv talk b4. no. just jk. lame joke. i know.
3. Would u wait for a girl/guy for 5 years that u once really like?my girl is now 13, stil 5 years to b officially aged for legal sex. siao. no. she now coma. doctor say 5 years only wake up. siao. she is sleeping beauty. wait 5 years for me to get the medicine to save her. crap. no. jz jk. no idea.might, mignt not.
4. would u fall in luv easily?i fall in love easy... i am play boy ma. i am rich ma, so can simply fall in love. i am handsome ma, so simply fall in love also ppl will love me.i am rich ma.i fall in love liao, i can buy wit money. siao. no.jz jk. i don't. i need to know in order the person to fall in love.
5. do u believe in love?no.i am devil.no love.i am crazy.don't know wat is love.i nv felt love.so i dont believe.i hate love, coz love don't love me.No.jz jk.i believe in love,faith,n myself.
6. what could u do if the guy/girl really don't like u..and u like him/her a lot ? kill and eat her.she forever b urs.kidnap her parents, force her to love u.threaten her.force her to marry you.even cannot get her heart, must get her body.no.jz joking.wat can i possibly do?b a stupid idiot n wish for her happiness.
7. what do u think is love?Love is so beautiful that words can't describe and it begins the moment two people infatuated humans come together in working out a relationship. It's a give n take situation.conclusion : love = a lil infatuation + a lot of like and acceptance + a load full of hardwork in making the relationship work. (don't know.so i just kept alicia's defination here.)
8. do u have any confidence in luv?nv love.how to know.duno.
9. are u scared of being rejected? nonono. coz my face is 10km thick.nonono coz i dun hav a face.nonono coz i hav no fear. no.jz jk.wat do u think?idiot!!!no one likes to be rejected.i scared.very scared.
10. do u think relationships can last long?no.coz we r house fly.hav 7 day life only. no.coz the world is gonna explode in 2 days. no. coz a nuke war is gonna start n all human beaing is gonna die within the next 24 hours. no.coz big UFO from Terrorist is gonna bang the earth n eliminate all living species. no. jz jk. if can, would love to last forever.
2. Did u talk to the person u like before?no. the person i like is a wall. a car. no. a movie star. out of reach. tats y nv talk b4. no. just jk. lame joke. i know.
3. Would u wait for a girl/guy for 5 years that u once really like?my girl is now 13, stil 5 years to b officially aged for legal sex. siao. no. she now coma. doctor say 5 years only wake up. siao. she is sleeping beauty. wait 5 years for me to get the medicine to save her. crap. no. jz jk. no idea.might, mignt not.
4. would u fall in luv easily?i fall in love easy... i am play boy ma. i am rich ma, so can simply fall in love. i am handsome ma, so simply fall in love also ppl will love me.i am rich ma.i fall in love liao, i can buy wit money. siao. no.jz jk. i don't. i need to know in order the person to fall in love.
5. do u believe in love?no.i am devil.no love.i am crazy.don't know wat is love.i nv felt love.so i dont believe.i hate love, coz love don't love me.No.jz jk.i believe in love,faith,n myself.
6. what could u do if the guy/girl really don't like u..and u like him/her a lot ? kill and eat her.she forever b urs.kidnap her parents, force her to love u.threaten her.force her to marry you.even cannot get her heart, must get her body.no.jz joking.wat can i possibly do?b a stupid idiot n wish for her happiness.
7. what do u think is love?Love is so beautiful that words can't describe and it begins the moment two people infatuated humans come together in working out a relationship. It's a give n take situation.conclusion : love = a lil infatuation + a lot of like and acceptance + a load full of hardwork in making the relationship work. (don't know.so i just kept alicia's defination here.)
8. do u have any confidence in luv?nv love.how to know.duno.
9. are u scared of being rejected? nonono. coz my face is 10km thick.nonono coz i dun hav a face.nonono coz i hav no fear. no.jz jk.wat do u think?idiot!!!no one likes to be rejected.i scared.very scared.
10. do u think relationships can last long?no.coz we r house fly.hav 7 day life only. no.coz the world is gonna explode in 2 days. no. coz a nuke war is gonna start n all human beaing is gonna die within the next 24 hours. no.coz big UFO from Terrorist is gonna bang the earth n eliminate all living species. no. jz jk. if can, would love to last forever.
Sunday, September 5, 2004
She's got someone on her TaiL!!!
c...
i knew it. its almost a sure that some one so gorgeous beautiful like gal A would hav some one on her "tail" so fast. i just knew it. an angel like her, if there isn't any one on her Tail, this is not a proper world dude. Look, for eg, MMu gals...many of them... normal look, normal gal's attitude... as normal as they are, they could get someone behind their tail, or even together wit them within 2 ,3 weeks...so fast...so instance.
as for gal A... so nice, so great personality, gorgeous charming and beautiful, and sporting, if there ain't anyone on her tail, tat would b the biggest himiliation.
and so, no surprise at all, gal A's fren confirm wit guy B, and he told me that there was indeed, someone on her Tail,bz courting her, trying to get her. As for a guy B who used to take her as the precious in hand, no more. no more of romance fantasy, no dissapointment either. Numb is the word to describe guy B... too much hope and dissapointment, he'd already learnt to kill the feelins. Good for gal A to get some 1...easier for guy B to felt relief and.. let the numb b forever.
well, at least now guy B knew, and i am glad that guy B is more numb then ever. yes, he felt not so happy...... for the result but he is ok wit it. i think guy B is more mature now to think of a better way to treat himself. and as for gal A...guy B givs his blessing and wishes to her.
and after that, guy B live a better life of his own, a bachelor's life, free, free and stil free.
so, finally.... guy B knew... gal A knew, and i know, that some1 is on gal A's tail, chasing her, courting her, tryin to make her his GF.... guy B, NUMB; me, just smile abit.
She's got someone on her TaiL~!!!
i knew it. its almost a sure that some one so gorgeous beautiful like gal A would hav some one on her "tail" so fast. i just knew it. an angel like her, if there isn't any one on her Tail, this is not a proper world dude. Look, for eg, MMu gals...many of them... normal look, normal gal's attitude... as normal as they are, they could get someone behind their tail, or even together wit them within 2 ,3 weeks...so fast...so instance.
as for gal A... so nice, so great personality, gorgeous charming and beautiful, and sporting, if there ain't anyone on her tail, tat would b the biggest himiliation.
and so, no surprise at all, gal A's fren confirm wit guy B, and he told me that there was indeed, someone on her Tail,bz courting her, trying to get her. As for a guy B who used to take her as the precious in hand, no more. no more of romance fantasy, no dissapointment either. Numb is the word to describe guy B... too much hope and dissapointment, he'd already learnt to kill the feelins. Good for gal A to get some 1...easier for guy B to felt relief and.. let the numb b forever.
well, at least now guy B knew, and i am glad that guy B is more numb then ever. yes, he felt not so happy...... for the result but he is ok wit it. i think guy B is more mature now to think of a better way to treat himself. and as for gal A...guy B givs his blessing and wishes to her.
and after that, guy B live a better life of his own, a bachelor's life, free, free and stil free.
so, finally.... guy B knew... gal A knew, and i know, that some1 is on gal A's tail, chasing her, courting her, tryin to make her his GF.... guy B, NUMB; me, just smile abit.
She's got someone on her TaiL~!!!
Monday, August 30, 2004
Bye Bye Old Feel...Aloha to NeW!!!
Bye bye the old feel... aloha to the new one. 16/8, a sunny day. in campus, b4 i ate the delicious nasi goreng kebab wit mango ice blended juice, i settle something tat i should hav settled a long time ago. and thought i knew the answer would b negetive... but i am stil willing to hurt myself for the very last time.
And yeah i did. and the answer was negetive. and so, i headed back for my delicious nasi goreng kebab, n stated to eat like a hungry wolf. eversince, i did not do anything that makes me thhink of it anmore.
Its been almost 2 weeks. seems along time. nv think, nv contact, nothing done. and i felt, can say great too. nothing much, except i do more stuff for myself. and i occupied more time moving around, exercising around. basketball bcome my 1 and only lover...wah...shiok man!!! wit my new addidas...i fly on the court. only, i am lack of energy and stamina d. cham....tooo fat and old d.
and so, i am bachelor... likes basketball, starting to love exam, and hate the days after exam. i like the pressure d. starting to kill time by writting stupid blogs...hahaha.
yeah...
now...me is stil me.... blii blii blaa blaa crap crap crap.
we wang wang wang wang weee weee wang wang wang.....
muahahahahhaaha~~~~~new feel
my own feel~~~
And yeah i did. and the answer was negetive. and so, i headed back for my delicious nasi goreng kebab, n stated to eat like a hungry wolf. eversince, i did not do anything that makes me thhink of it anmore.
Its been almost 2 weeks. seems along time. nv think, nv contact, nothing done. and i felt, can say great too. nothing much, except i do more stuff for myself. and i occupied more time moving around, exercising around. basketball bcome my 1 and only lover...wah...shiok man!!! wit my new addidas...i fly on the court. only, i am lack of energy and stamina d. cham....tooo fat and old d.
and so, i am bachelor... likes basketball, starting to love exam, and hate the days after exam. i like the pressure d. starting to kill time by writting stupid blogs...hahaha.
yeah...
now...me is stil me.... blii blii blaa blaa crap crap crap.
we wang wang wang wang weee weee wang wang wang.....
muahahahahhaaha~~~~~new feel
my own feel~~~
Olympics...The Spirit Of Mankind For Peace, Friendship, and Sportsmanship. LoVe It!!!
When it all started, I was in the middle of a preparation of a war. The war of fire for me…flamed so fiercely, just like the fire ob of the Olympics. That night, 1 something in the morning, I was watching the opening of Olympics, through the small tv in condo. Neighbors came over to join the celebration. That was a night I slept around 3 something. While the opening of Olympics still carrying out in Athens, Greece 2004. And so, it all started…started…and the war for me to my Olympic game – the MMU Finals.
And now, I was at home. The fight for MMU Finals, had already gone for 3 days. In front of me, TV showing live broadcast of the closing of Athens 2004. Every time I watch at the opening, the games, and the closing of Olympics, I felt totally great. Totally proud, totally touch. The crowd… the cheers… the sad, the happiness, the fall, the raise, the glory, the success…. And so on…and so on…..
Every time, I wanted to feel…how the athletes felt, when they are on the prize stage, and 72k of ppl in the stadium, cheering, applause for them. When you are at this kind of places, it doesn’t really matter if u loose or wins. What matters the most, is the honor… of being cheered by 72k people. Win or loose shows no big matters no more. For the spirits, the proud of representing the country, standing in the eyes of the world. I would hav cried if I am in such situation. Tears would hav drop without me knowing. Wat an honor, wat a great memory, a highest honor. And the spirit of the games… the Olympic games… For our earth’s peace, friendship, sportsmanship, and GloRy!!! MoMents of Glory!!! Oh gosh!!! Can you felt that…??? Can you imagine!!! I am imagining. How beautiful…how wonderful…!!! And the Fire of Olympic…Shows the spirit of the Olympics will never die.
3.44am Malaysia time, the flame in Athens 2004 is about to be put off…but the spirit will not end here. 4 years later, in Beijing, the proud of Chinese, the proud of all Chinese, and China. We know….the great eastern dragon had awaken… Athens 2004, china won 32 gold medals, a few medals behind USA. Russia no. 3. China, stepping towards its success~~~ internationally….globally!!!
Look at that amazing structure of the stadium, the crowd of it…. All the flashes due to the cameras’ flashes…Oh…the flame was “blown” off by a little Greece girl. Next time we c it, it will b in Beijing’s Olympic Stadium. Yeah!!! Oh gosh…the fireworks…. Wonderful!!! Awesome!!! Beautiful!!! Wit beautiful musics sung by beautiful singers. Gosh….totally awesome!!! Dance….Dance….and never let it stop!!! Fireworks…boom….boom…and nv stop!!! Let this memorable, beautiful, glamour moment stop and et history not to be forgotten!!! It’s a super big party happening!!! Muahahaha!!!! Muahahaha!!!!
4.45am Malaysian time…Olympics ended for 2004 Athens…finally it comes to an end. But, we look forward for 2008 in Beijing China, where the spirit, the glory and the pride of human once shine again in grace. 2008 Beijing, we look forward to u!!! YeaH!!!
Once more addition b4 I stop this blog of mine… One of my dream for my near future was to go for the Olympics for Beijing 2008 and witness the history of mankind for the very 1st time of my life. Hopefully It could b carried out~~~ any one interested to join me?? Let’s go together…~~ hahaha..!!!
And now, I was at home. The fight for MMU Finals, had already gone for 3 days. In front of me, TV showing live broadcast of the closing of Athens 2004. Every time I watch at the opening, the games, and the closing of Olympics, I felt totally great. Totally proud, totally touch. The crowd… the cheers… the sad, the happiness, the fall, the raise, the glory, the success…. And so on…and so on…..
Every time, I wanted to feel…how the athletes felt, when they are on the prize stage, and 72k of ppl in the stadium, cheering, applause for them. When you are at this kind of places, it doesn’t really matter if u loose or wins. What matters the most, is the honor… of being cheered by 72k people. Win or loose shows no big matters no more. For the spirits, the proud of representing the country, standing in the eyes of the world. I would hav cried if I am in such situation. Tears would hav drop without me knowing. Wat an honor, wat a great memory, a highest honor. And the spirit of the games… the Olympic games… For our earth’s peace, friendship, sportsmanship, and GloRy!!! MoMents of Glory!!! Oh gosh!!! Can you felt that…??? Can you imagine!!! I am imagining. How beautiful…how wonderful…!!! And the Fire of Olympic…Shows the spirit of the Olympics will never die.
3.44am Malaysia time, the flame in Athens 2004 is about to be put off…but the spirit will not end here. 4 years later, in Beijing, the proud of Chinese, the proud of all Chinese, and China. We know….the great eastern dragon had awaken… Athens 2004, china won 32 gold medals, a few medals behind USA. Russia no. 3. China, stepping towards its success~~~ internationally….globally!!!
Look at that amazing structure of the stadium, the crowd of it…. All the flashes due to the cameras’ flashes…Oh…the flame was “blown” off by a little Greece girl. Next time we c it, it will b in Beijing’s Olympic Stadium. Yeah!!! Oh gosh…the fireworks…. Wonderful!!! Awesome!!! Beautiful!!! Wit beautiful musics sung by beautiful singers. Gosh….totally awesome!!! Dance….Dance….and never let it stop!!! Fireworks…boom….boom…and nv stop!!! Let this memorable, beautiful, glamour moment stop and et history not to be forgotten!!! It’s a super big party happening!!! Muahahaha!!!! Muahahaha!!!!
4.45am Malaysian time…Olympics ended for 2004 Athens…finally it comes to an end. But, we look forward for 2008 in Beijing China, where the spirit, the glory and the pride of human once shine again in grace. 2008 Beijing, we look forward to u!!! YeaH!!!
Once more addition b4 I stop this blog of mine… One of my dream for my near future was to go for the Olympics for Beijing 2008 and witness the history of mankind for the very 1st time of my life. Hopefully It could b carried out~~~ any one interested to join me?? Let’s go together…~~ hahaha..!!!
Saturday, July 24, 2004
Bad Tempered...
Today...back from cyberjaya MMU, reach home around 9.15pm after havin dinner wit jim n miao.
hmm...i hav no idea y i am so bad tempered. Mayb pressure...mayb, i cant get wat i wanted. i hav no idea.
i just felt totally v.v.v. bad, v.v. angry, v.v. frustrated. its like...everything is not under my control anymore. its like, i am capable of doin nothing good no more. i suck like shit. tats wat i felt.
Confidence in me just come and go. and i hav no idea why is that happening. wat hav i done wrong? that make me...such a loser recently? i dont understand wat the lecturer is lecturing during lecture classes, and i hav no idea wat will i get for the coming final. v.v. scared of it. if i ever to fail again, gosh, i dare not think wat will happen to me.
Lost of motivation and Target.... AGAIN!!! hav no idea wat am i doin, its like...i am letting myself go again... i am letting myself stepping deeper and deeper into a quicksand... nv gonna c the sunlight again...no more. bye bye.
How come this is happening? it really scares me... but, there wasn't any determination or dignity to change. wat happen to me? wat happen? i always look forward to ppl who live a real good life, rich spiritually, mentally. i look forward to ppl who went overseas...study, experience a total different culture, total different life. and come back to tell the tale.
There are sometimes, somethings tat i wanted to do, that i cant' do. No example given, i kept it to myself. just that, there r something, that i wanted so hardly, n GOD DAMNIT i just cant get it. and there r ppl who, wanted something, and they get it. Just as simple as easy as that. Some that money can buy...which i DAMNIT dun hav. some...money cant buy... which i am ok coz its...faith. Hell!!! since when i believe in such stupid thing!! faith....arrr!!!
Y... y i am held back to do something by so many factors?? y can t i...just dun giv a damn on those stupid stuff and just do the things i wanted to do sometimes??
what hav i done wrong?? i did not kill anyone. i did not robbed anyone. i am a good guy.....er...lets let other to judge it.
but, i really hope, someday, i can do somethign like my heart tells...freely, and can success in something that i do. its been....... so so so long time, since the time i taste the sweetness of....SUCCESS....real long time. i miss that feelin so so much. ARR DAMNIT!!!
when will that sweetness b tasted again...??
when??
tell me...tell me.....
P/S: special apology to my parents and my younger brother, for, my bad tempered, and rude attitude just now. Was too underpressure.
hmm...i hav no idea y i am so bad tempered. Mayb pressure...mayb, i cant get wat i wanted. i hav no idea.
i just felt totally v.v.v. bad, v.v. angry, v.v. frustrated. its like...everything is not under my control anymore. its like, i am capable of doin nothing good no more. i suck like shit. tats wat i felt.
Confidence in me just come and go. and i hav no idea why is that happening. wat hav i done wrong? that make me...such a loser recently? i dont understand wat the lecturer is lecturing during lecture classes, and i hav no idea wat will i get for the coming final. v.v. scared of it. if i ever to fail again, gosh, i dare not think wat will happen to me.
Lost of motivation and Target.... AGAIN!!! hav no idea wat am i doin, its like...i am letting myself go again... i am letting myself stepping deeper and deeper into a quicksand... nv gonna c the sunlight again...no more. bye bye.
How come this is happening? it really scares me... but, there wasn't any determination or dignity to change. wat happen to me? wat happen? i always look forward to ppl who live a real good life, rich spiritually, mentally. i look forward to ppl who went overseas...study, experience a total different culture, total different life. and come back to tell the tale.
There are sometimes, somethings tat i wanted to do, that i cant' do. No example given, i kept it to myself. just that, there r something, that i wanted so hardly, n GOD DAMNIT i just cant get it. and there r ppl who, wanted something, and they get it. Just as simple as easy as that. Some that money can buy...which i DAMNIT dun hav. some...money cant buy... which i am ok coz its...faith. Hell!!! since when i believe in such stupid thing!! faith....arrr!!!
Y... y i am held back to do something by so many factors?? y can t i...just dun giv a damn on those stupid stuff and just do the things i wanted to do sometimes??
what hav i done wrong?? i did not kill anyone. i did not robbed anyone. i am a good guy.....er...lets let other to judge it.
but, i really hope, someday, i can do somethign like my heart tells...freely, and can success in something that i do. its been....... so so so long time, since the time i taste the sweetness of....SUCCESS....real long time. i miss that feelin so so much. ARR DAMNIT!!!
when will that sweetness b tasted again...??
when??
tell me...tell me.....
P/S: special apology to my parents and my younger brother, for, my bad tempered, and rude attitude just now. Was too underpressure.
Monday, July 19, 2004
Morning Worst... Noon Ok... Evening Just Smillin Away.
Today...this day....this morning!!! Arrrrhhh!!! i woke up late, 20 minutes late for CK2 lab. oh gosh!!! then, rush to campus...its already 9.35am. late!!! the dear Dr. Tan Ai Hui dun allow me to do the lab though i try to persue her for a chance. she ask me to replace on 3/8/2004.no choice, i can only agree. back at my condo, felt totally bad... face black black. 11.15am, laying on my bed, half sleep half awake until 12 something, then woke up n went for 1 oclock class.
stil felt not good. moody...
sit in the class...listen to the lecturer talking... copying solutions for examples... then, ended up in library copying assignment. GUILTY!!! then went for lunch wit darren, NASI GORENG KEBAB. quite nice.yeah! later, went library, sit there n read news papers. talk alot of crap wit darren.
Finally, went for tutorial class. Its Dr. Praba's Electromagnetic Theory class. He announced before the class that this is his last class, for he will be leaving MMU after this week. I was sad to hear that. he was such a good lecturer, and a good guy. i will sure miss him.though he like to skip class, but, he can conduct a class much much better then some malay or chinese lecturers that claim they r good themselves...ohhhman!! wat ever!!
anyway, wanna take this opportunity here to say, Thank you Dr. Praba, for everything! Best Wishes!!! Its really MMU's waste to let a good lecturer go. SoLuTe To Dr. Praba!!! thank you for ur contribution!
then when i am after the class...i felt total relief.... thats y i am so happy after tat. so my mood turns good, n i am smillin away. hopefully tml i can get myself to er.... street mall tml to post wat i promise to post. the mail i mean.
well, tats all la. ....... lazy to write d =P
stil felt not good. moody...
sit in the class...listen to the lecturer talking... copying solutions for examples... then, ended up in library copying assignment. GUILTY!!! then went for lunch wit darren, NASI GORENG KEBAB. quite nice.yeah! later, went library, sit there n read news papers. talk alot of crap wit darren.
Finally, went for tutorial class. Its Dr. Praba's Electromagnetic Theory class. He announced before the class that this is his last class, for he will be leaving MMU after this week. I was sad to hear that. he was such a good lecturer, and a good guy. i will sure miss him.though he like to skip class, but, he can conduct a class much much better then some malay or chinese lecturers that claim they r good themselves...ohhhman!! wat ever!!
anyway, wanna take this opportunity here to say, Thank you Dr. Praba, for everything! Best Wishes!!! Its really MMU's waste to let a good lecturer go. SoLuTe To Dr. Praba!!! thank you for ur contribution!
then when i am after the class...i felt total relief.... thats y i am so happy after tat. so my mood turns good, n i am smillin away. hopefully tml i can get myself to er.... street mall tml to post wat i promise to post. the mail i mean.
well, tats all la. ....... lazy to write d =P
Sunday, July 18, 2004
King Arthur...
today, was a saturday. went pyramid wit 5 frens of mine from my hometown.
1, qian jun, my so good old fren...old until i can help her clean her teeth using tooth pic
2, re chuan, studyin in aus, back for holiday, superb happy gal wit totally nice personality, outgoing n strong!!
3, zhan wei, my good old pal leaving for japan for architecture on october. asian scholarship. v. brilliant guy!!
4, yee xuan, small size gal, nice, daughter of 2 teachers, nice, leaving for NUS on august...s'pore
5,kwong choon, my roommate in cyberjaya.
3 of them watch spiderman 2, 3 of us.. (me, kwong choon, qian jun) watch King Arthur.
1 word to describe it. SUPERB!!! really a nice movie. i giv it a high high rank.
the 1st scene i watch, i knew...its worth my ticket price. the background music is just awesome!!! the usage of mass Brass instrument, really brought out the feel of the whole movie. even v. simple shot, together wit the sound effect and the music, brought out a v stunning effect. plus, the story line is good, actor's characteristic is clear... Keira Knightley was a total beauty!!!
Fighting scene... was good. Touching movie, of companionship, loyalty, believe, trust among each others, and FREEDOM...
it took me 10 minutes after the movie... for myself to... talk normally.haha
nice movies!! really should go c!!!
tats all
tell u more next time...muahaha!!!
1, qian jun, my so good old fren...old until i can help her clean her teeth using tooth pic
2, re chuan, studyin in aus, back for holiday, superb happy gal wit totally nice personality, outgoing n strong!!
3, zhan wei, my good old pal leaving for japan for architecture on october. asian scholarship. v. brilliant guy!!
4, yee xuan, small size gal, nice, daughter of 2 teachers, nice, leaving for NUS on august...s'pore
5,kwong choon, my roommate in cyberjaya.
3 of them watch spiderman 2, 3 of us.. (me, kwong choon, qian jun) watch King Arthur.
1 word to describe it. SUPERB!!! really a nice movie. i giv it a high high rank.
the 1st scene i watch, i knew...its worth my ticket price. the background music is just awesome!!! the usage of mass Brass instrument, really brought out the feel of the whole movie. even v. simple shot, together wit the sound effect and the music, brought out a v stunning effect. plus, the story line is good, actor's characteristic is clear... Keira Knightley was a total beauty!!!
Fighting scene... was good. Touching movie, of companionship, loyalty, believe, trust among each others, and FREEDOM...
it took me 10 minutes after the movie... for myself to... talk normally.haha
nice movies!! really should go c!!!
tats all
tell u more next time...muahaha!!!
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
In d Lab.... In d Lab....
n here i am..in the lab, wit nothing to do. its raining outside, and, my day is ruin by the late wakeup of myself. ahr man!!! Miss out one tutorial class. Thanks to the late sleep last nite. Regrets la...shouldn't hav done this. Its totally not rite...
Recently i hav a dream.......... i dream of... havin...3 million to spend.
but,today i woke myself up n tell my self tat i dont hav that amount of money!! so, i started to do something else. i started to...be nice n smile.
ok, i am crapping, but until now, the 2 gals tat i come across...i've already praise them for their charming n beautiness.
arrr...wat the hack am i typing. ya know, sometimes, i felt tat, as we grow elder...we somehow tend to, b more protective of ourselves. yeah...protective. nv really tot of htis question, but tat day when i went out wit my cool fren, she told me this.
n this stuff...relates to another matter...which is no other then the LOVE!!!
tats wat she say - "i've seen so many couples...get together..but the guy,was too playboy,n they tend to go for other gals eventhough they had one by their side d. i c them gettin 2gether,breaking up. how could i really trust a guy? n i wont go for any guys jsut bcoz i am single, lonely or desperate,n others arent like me.it makes me felt...cheap. who knows...mayb seein to much of this kinda example, i tend to b more protective bout myself." i noded as she said so.
it true ya know, as we go on, we notice...so many bad things happen in this world. when we r small, young n wild, we r happy. We nv realize how bad this world is turninng into, how wicket man's heart can be. and now, tat we r mature n grown up, we know... wat we this world is. we bcome more protective, we bcome more careful. we bcome less happy, n less happy...
Much depends on how we actually look at this world. but the news through the papers...really scared alot of people. n kids cant hav their happy childhood. n ladies walk alone will felt total horror... and man walk alone, will felt uncomfortable. who knows...where n when, we will b rob? killed? knocked down by a crazy driver? rape by a insane psycho,kidnapped by kidnappers...or head got cut off by terrorist. we nv know... sadly...we nv know. Big cities in malaysia...often seen through news papers..not coz of their glorious, modern lifestyle n society, but for their accidents, criminal cases...and that really scared the freak out of a certain people. certain people like me.
tats y, like always, i prefer goin to more pure n unpolluted places for a trip or holiday.KL?? no thanks. dislike the culture there. gives ppl the feelin of...MONEY ORIENTED.... totally personal point of view... no offence k~ yet this is the fact
this is the capital of malaysia. there r times when we r forced to go to these places for certain reason. n we live wit it. =)
hmmm....stil in lab...playin pool wit ewe...sien oo~!!!
Recently i hav a dream.......... i dream of... havin...3 million to spend.
but,today i woke myself up n tell my self tat i dont hav that amount of money!! so, i started to do something else. i started to...be nice n smile.
ok, i am crapping, but until now, the 2 gals tat i come across...i've already praise them for their charming n beautiness.
arrr...wat the hack am i typing. ya know, sometimes, i felt tat, as we grow elder...we somehow tend to, b more protective of ourselves. yeah...protective. nv really tot of htis question, but tat day when i went out wit my cool fren, she told me this.
n this stuff...relates to another matter...which is no other then the LOVE!!!
tats wat she say - "i've seen so many couples...get together..but the guy,was too playboy,n they tend to go for other gals eventhough they had one by their side d. i c them gettin 2gether,breaking up. how could i really trust a guy? n i wont go for any guys jsut bcoz i am single, lonely or desperate,n others arent like me.it makes me felt...cheap. who knows...mayb seein to much of this kinda example, i tend to b more protective bout myself." i noded as she said so.
it true ya know, as we go on, we notice...so many bad things happen in this world. when we r small, young n wild, we r happy. We nv realize how bad this world is turninng into, how wicket man's heart can be. and now, tat we r mature n grown up, we know... wat we this world is. we bcome more protective, we bcome more careful. we bcome less happy, n less happy...
Much depends on how we actually look at this world. but the news through the papers...really scared alot of people. n kids cant hav their happy childhood. n ladies walk alone will felt total horror... and man walk alone, will felt uncomfortable. who knows...where n when, we will b rob? killed? knocked down by a crazy driver? rape by a insane psycho,kidnapped by kidnappers...or head got cut off by terrorist. we nv know... sadly...we nv know. Big cities in malaysia...often seen through news papers..not coz of their glorious, modern lifestyle n society, but for their accidents, criminal cases...and that really scared the freak out of a certain people. certain people like me.
tats y, like always, i prefer goin to more pure n unpolluted places for a trip or holiday.KL?? no thanks. dislike the culture there. gives ppl the feelin of...MONEY ORIENTED.... totally personal point of view... no offence k~ yet this is the fact
this is the capital of malaysia. there r times when we r forced to go to these places for certain reason. n we live wit it. =)
hmmm....stil in lab...playin pool wit ewe...sien oo~!!!
Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday...
Saturday, 10/7/2004
well, today quite special. i attended a fren's sister's wedding. tat was morning. afternoon, call some1. v. nice..hehe...spend the noon wit family also. happy~~ then nite, went out wit a v. cool fren of mine. we talk alot... for 1 hour n 15 minutes.just the 2 of us... chattin things tat r from our heart. v. nice to hear from her again. n so, 2 aquarius talk alot abuot everything.
yeah~~
sunday, 11/7/2004
today, woke up, went morning market wit mum n dad...n brother n sister... wah! whole family went pasar together. hoho... =P boring ma. v. happy also. noon went back to cyberjaya..n started my study again for tuesday's exam
Monday, 12/7/2004
Just another manic monday. always makes ppl... feels bad. y sunday hav to go? y monday hav to come?
tats y....... i love saturday the most~~~ yeah baby!! at nite, totally got no mood to study. so me n housemates...were crapping n playin cards. wow~~~ crazy ei!!!
Tuesday 13/7/2004
Today, woke up, skip all classes.
Nite, exam, sucks like hell~!!! then Gunbound for a few hours... then.....duno wat the hack i do. n the time is now 5.10am.imagine!! gosh
wednesday.... 14/7/2004
its 5.10 now......... wat else i need to do? oh ya.....sleep
tml stil hav class for me
good luck for u n me n he n she!~!!!!!
well, today quite special. i attended a fren's sister's wedding. tat was morning. afternoon, call some1. v. nice..hehe...spend the noon wit family also. happy~~ then nite, went out wit a v. cool fren of mine. we talk alot... for 1 hour n 15 minutes.just the 2 of us... chattin things tat r from our heart. v. nice to hear from her again. n so, 2 aquarius talk alot abuot everything.
yeah~~
sunday, 11/7/2004
today, woke up, went morning market wit mum n dad...n brother n sister... wah! whole family went pasar together. hoho... =P boring ma. v. happy also. noon went back to cyberjaya..n started my study again for tuesday's exam
Monday, 12/7/2004
Just another manic monday. always makes ppl... feels bad. y sunday hav to go? y monday hav to come?
tats y....... i love saturday the most~~~ yeah baby!! at nite, totally got no mood to study. so me n housemates...were crapping n playin cards. wow~~~ crazy ei!!!
Tuesday 13/7/2004
Today, woke up, skip all classes.
Nite, exam, sucks like hell~!!! then Gunbound for a few hours... then.....duno wat the hack i do. n the time is now 5.10am.imagine!! gosh
wednesday.... 14/7/2004
its 5.10 now......... wat else i need to do? oh ya.....sleep
tml stil hav class for me
good luck for u n me n he n she!~!!!!!
Sunday, July 4, 2004
And so.... there is no title for this blog.
well, like always... this is the time for me to write a blog of my own. Like always, its again, late at nite...i am all alone, its so quiet, n lonely. It seems like the world had turn its back on me.
4/7/2004, 1.46am. It has been 23 days n 9 hours n 8 minutes since the person who meant alot to me, had left to persue her dreams. as for me, i had set a dream for myself... and i hope i can grab it. Love is such a strange n funny thing. hmmm...
can anyone tell me, isit really so bad if i go after a gal who already had a bf or some1 is already after her??
Life recently is...such bz, n bz. each day passes, faster then i can ever imagine.
Everyday, went campus in d morning, then spend time in library duno do wat... until evening only i am back to my condo.Experiencing the life of a nerd, i felt that they will not hav time for the stuffs below.
1. To Love
2. To Chat
3. To Write Blog
4. To Enjoy the life of Campus
5. They usually move alone.
6. They just seem v. boring.
7. Play Games.
arrr...who cares how they live. what i care is how i live. and my life, is bz. n pressure. n there's only 1 thing tat leads me to this. My target, my dream. I dun wanna be a failure anymore. Wat i want, is to smile confidently every day n nite again.
went swimming just now. found out that... i can stil swim...wah...happy~~ luckily i can stil swim though i am putting up weight again. but, there are some movements tat i cant do anymore. like leg streching, n continous running around the park at my home town for more then 3 round.
Money management comes in handy recently. Tryin to save as much money as possible. n it seems to b working abit. Lately been always desiring to go out for tea at MAMAK wit frens, or go hav a drink at somewhere n just sit there for a afternoon or nite, n think of wat ever i will think. It would be nice. But some how i stil cant do tat yet. duno y.
Tot this weekend i would hav a really damn nice trip in Port Dickson, who knows, last minute cancelled. dissapointing. I even brought a hawaii feel shirt, preparing to wear during the PD trip. anyway, wat ever.
Just now i was singing on my fren's bed. i sang so happily i even forget my fren were in the room. he took the digicam n took my funny looking singing look. Yet, i dun care. i just keep on singing. after tat i felt totally happy. But the happiness didn't last for long. Now, the thing that went through me...is just pressure....stress...n pressure...n stress...n pressure...n stress...
To tell the truth, i love exams...but i hate the exam outcome, which is the stupid RESULT!!!
Anyway, i felt that i am running myself out of anything tat is related to love, wat i mean is, Love, the love, tat includes admire, attracted, wat ever... its the love among couples. I somehow kick it to somewhere...n i cant find it now. hmm.
I miss some1 ... but often i myself don't know who i should b missing.
My fren Jimmy said tat next time when he hav band training wit his gang, he wan me 2 b in to play some keyboard. I nv play wit a band, and i nv dare to think wat will b the outcome. Stil wondering whether i should bring my keyboard here so tat i can play everyday. hmm.
Someone recently intro me to invest an amount of RM 2500 in a bizness... something like Pyramid Scheme. i just refused it. How on earth do i find the rm 2.5 k out for it? no idea.
Alone, oh ya. now aways, almost each and everyday, i went to campus on my own. i loiter around the campus on my own. N i went to library n sit alone to study alone, and sometimes i went to the Cafe to sit down and hav a drink, n look at those NERDS walking here n there alone. Since it is so alone... i might as well just alone n alone n alone n alone *gone insane alone*......
Come wat may... too many things are out of my reach, out of my control. I dream day and nite of having 3 things. 1 = good reputation n result. 2 = some1 3 = BMW M3.
But, good repu n result...always din get to reach me. for i always trip and fall b4 my hand can ever reached it.That particular someone, which here refering to more then 1 person, those tat fly flew away. those tat hav a home sticked to tat home n forever hope to b happy. those tat is chased by prince charming, so inbriated in the process of chasing n hiding. BMW M3...hahaha. even v. rich man will not simply buy a car tat worth half a million or more n make the money walk all around the free way rite~~~!!!! so, jsut a dream.
always wanted to...love some1. but, don't know y now all tat is in my mind, is just...to not love anyone, and to focus on something tat can raise my reputation n results. y... pitty life, ei~?
sometimes i miss piano much. Like now, i really miss the piano at home, it had accompany me to go through alot of highs and lows... when i am happy, my finger do dancing on it. when i am sad, my fingers play the sound of sorrow in me. when i am mad, a war drum begun to sound. Ahh..my piano~~ how i miss it. but, sometimes when i am sitting infront of it, and i wanted to play it, wat is in my mind just cant b played and expressed like i think it could. is my feelin gettin complicated? or is my skills of playin decreasing......? God knows...huh!
Deep inside my heart, theres 1 person there.That person, if u r the one, u wil know tat i am talking bout u. Take good care of urself. Had a great time n b happy always. My best wishes are always reserved for you. U know how much u meant to me, how much i care for u. =) oh...wat ever!!!
Deep inside my mind, there r 1 angel n 1 darevel. this 2 "thing" played an important role for my decision making, personality establishment, and many many more. But always, i was hold back coz of the fight btw this 2 thing tat had no winners. If only i can b more determine, more firm in wat i decide, in wat i plan, n then carry out bravely, confidently. Then, there should b not so many regrets in my life... at least recently... really got a few regrets tat nearly make me gone INSANE.
Boa - Everyheart is playin on my Winamp now. Felt totally tired. Eyes r almost closing. but heart stil dun felt like sleepin. Everynite i am like...waiting for some1. who? i hav no idea...hmm...
mayb i am jsut used to ...not sleeping.
ok...then tats it for this crappy blog. hav no idea wat i wrote!!! gosh...wat a mess!!!
Best wishes to myself on Wednesday's Exam. Best wishes to me on next tuesday's Exam. Peace 2 the world!!!
4/7/2004, 1.46am. It has been 23 days n 9 hours n 8 minutes since the person who meant alot to me, had left to persue her dreams. as for me, i had set a dream for myself... and i hope i can grab it. Love is such a strange n funny thing. hmmm...
can anyone tell me, isit really so bad if i go after a gal who already had a bf or some1 is already after her??
Life recently is...such bz, n bz. each day passes, faster then i can ever imagine.
Everyday, went campus in d morning, then spend time in library duno do wat... until evening only i am back to my condo.Experiencing the life of a nerd, i felt that they will not hav time for the stuffs below.
1. To Love
2. To Chat
3. To Write Blog
4. To Enjoy the life of Campus
5. They usually move alone.
6. They just seem v. boring.
7. Play Games.
arrr...who cares how they live. what i care is how i live. and my life, is bz. n pressure. n there's only 1 thing tat leads me to this. My target, my dream. I dun wanna be a failure anymore. Wat i want, is to smile confidently every day n nite again.
went swimming just now. found out that... i can stil swim...wah...happy~~ luckily i can stil swim though i am putting up weight again. but, there are some movements tat i cant do anymore. like leg streching, n continous running around the park at my home town for more then 3 round.
Money management comes in handy recently. Tryin to save as much money as possible. n it seems to b working abit. Lately been always desiring to go out for tea at MAMAK wit frens, or go hav a drink at somewhere n just sit there for a afternoon or nite, n think of wat ever i will think. It would be nice. But some how i stil cant do tat yet. duno y.
Tot this weekend i would hav a really damn nice trip in Port Dickson, who knows, last minute cancelled. dissapointing. I even brought a hawaii feel shirt, preparing to wear during the PD trip. anyway, wat ever.
Just now i was singing on my fren's bed. i sang so happily i even forget my fren were in the room. he took the digicam n took my funny looking singing look. Yet, i dun care. i just keep on singing. after tat i felt totally happy. But the happiness didn't last for long. Now, the thing that went through me...is just pressure....stress...n pressure...n stress...n pressure...n stress...
To tell the truth, i love exams...but i hate the exam outcome, which is the stupid RESULT!!!
Anyway, i felt that i am running myself out of anything tat is related to love, wat i mean is, Love, the love, tat includes admire, attracted, wat ever... its the love among couples. I somehow kick it to somewhere...n i cant find it now. hmm.
I miss some1 ... but often i myself don't know who i should b missing.
My fren Jimmy said tat next time when he hav band training wit his gang, he wan me 2 b in to play some keyboard. I nv play wit a band, and i nv dare to think wat will b the outcome. Stil wondering whether i should bring my keyboard here so tat i can play everyday. hmm.
Someone recently intro me to invest an amount of RM 2500 in a bizness... something like Pyramid Scheme. i just refused it. How on earth do i find the rm 2.5 k out for it? no idea.
Alone, oh ya. now aways, almost each and everyday, i went to campus on my own. i loiter around the campus on my own. N i went to library n sit alone to study alone, and sometimes i went to the Cafe to sit down and hav a drink, n look at those NERDS walking here n there alone. Since it is so alone... i might as well just alone n alone n alone n alone *gone insane alone*......
Come wat may... too many things are out of my reach, out of my control. I dream day and nite of having 3 things. 1 = good reputation n result. 2 = some1 3 = BMW M3.
But, good repu n result...always din get to reach me. for i always trip and fall b4 my hand can ever reached it.That particular someone, which here refering to more then 1 person, those tat fly flew away. those tat hav a home sticked to tat home n forever hope to b happy. those tat is chased by prince charming, so inbriated in the process of chasing n hiding. BMW M3...hahaha. even v. rich man will not simply buy a car tat worth half a million or more n make the money walk all around the free way rite~~~!!!! so, jsut a dream.
always wanted to...love some1. but, don't know y now all tat is in my mind, is just...to not love anyone, and to focus on something tat can raise my reputation n results. y... pitty life, ei~?
sometimes i miss piano much. Like now, i really miss the piano at home, it had accompany me to go through alot of highs and lows... when i am happy, my finger do dancing on it. when i am sad, my fingers play the sound of sorrow in me. when i am mad, a war drum begun to sound. Ahh..my piano~~ how i miss it. but, sometimes when i am sitting infront of it, and i wanted to play it, wat is in my mind just cant b played and expressed like i think it could. is my feelin gettin complicated? or is my skills of playin decreasing......? God knows...huh!
Deep inside my heart, theres 1 person there.That person, if u r the one, u wil know tat i am talking bout u. Take good care of urself. Had a great time n b happy always. My best wishes are always reserved for you. U know how much u meant to me, how much i care for u. =) oh...wat ever!!!
Deep inside my mind, there r 1 angel n 1 darevel. this 2 "thing" played an important role for my decision making, personality establishment, and many many more. But always, i was hold back coz of the fight btw this 2 thing tat had no winners. If only i can b more determine, more firm in wat i decide, in wat i plan, n then carry out bravely, confidently. Then, there should b not so many regrets in my life... at least recently... really got a few regrets tat nearly make me gone INSANE.
Boa - Everyheart is playin on my Winamp now. Felt totally tired. Eyes r almost closing. but heart stil dun felt like sleepin. Everynite i am like...waiting for some1. who? i hav no idea...hmm...
mayb i am jsut used to ...not sleeping.
ok...then tats it for this crappy blog. hav no idea wat i wrote!!! gosh...wat a mess!!!
Best wishes to myself on Wednesday's Exam. Best wishes to me on next tuesday's Exam. Peace 2 the world!!!
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Songs Tat Make U Happy
Well, basically, sometimes i might get real happy and excited due to a simple song, or tune, or music. as long as it makes me felt like jumping, or shakin, or singing ...then it makes me happy.
FOr example, Beautifool by OAG, Walk On by U2, and some other songs...
try it out!! it works.... some songs can even boost ur confidence...can motivate u, make u a more charming person~~ its true. So get urself a mobile music player or watever walkman discman MD player tat u can get... wear it, listen n start to b cool!!!
FOr example, Beautifool by OAG, Walk On by U2, and some other songs...
try it out!! it works.... some songs can even boost ur confidence...can motivate u, make u a more charming person~~ its true. So get urself a mobile music player or watever walkman discman MD player tat u can get... wear it, listen n start to b cool!!!
How To Fall In Love???
Well, some how i think, when u r lookin at a gal's picture, this gal is nice, n quite beautiful, nice personality, then u r so lonely in this lonely nite, n songs are singing of lyrics, so romanticly, and then u r lookin at the picture...thinknig of the days u spend together wit this gal, and the way she talk...the cute expression she hav, the bright laughter she hav, the way she comfort you when u needed support the most...
And the song still singing... bout love, bout romance, bout lovers together...couple together....plus you are so lonesome...
Then u will easily fell in love wit this girl.
Y i said so?
hahaha.... Dun ask. i am not sure i am like tat or not also~~~
And the song still singing... bout love, bout romance, bout lovers together...couple together....plus you are so lonesome...
Then u will easily fell in love wit this girl.
Y i said so?
hahaha.... Dun ask. i am not sure i am like tat or not also~~~
Errmmm.....Hmmmm......
Ok...Its 3.36 am for 24/6/2004. A new day, n i haven get to bed yet. Everynite seems like waiting for something, duno wat... er....1st time joining this so call BLOG, duno wat isit actually. My fren told me dis is a place for u to write craps. mayb i should crap alot here.... will share some of my story wit ppl here if i am free enuf. hehe.
tats all~~~ so...~~ chao~~~
tats all~~~ so...~~ chao~~~
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